sometimes people came up to you and said
good job, son
but there are times when you wonder
are they sayin it from the bottom of their heart
or its just the custom to say it

and some people know that they need help
but they shoo away every possibilities of help
and shout for more help
and shoo them away at the same time

some people need love
want love
crave for love
looking for it everywhere
and ended having more than
what he can handle

humans are always bad with words
bad with expressions
and bad with secluded intentions
why not we be frank
and trusty to each other?
peel off those extra skins
that barry each and every one of us
into freedom of speech and belief

i am supposedly workin on my ENGL paper,
which i do, right now. but well, a lil bit (too much, actually)
of side-tracking is okeh? heheehe

anyway.... lemme write some crap that i just want to write.

how do we measure success?
issit by ounce.. or by pound?
issit by career.. or by beauty?
or by relationship,
or by love?

does successful means greatness in everything
does success account for matters of the world
success in youth
success in life
success in business
success in relationship
success in materialism
success in family
success in whatever-things-that-you-may-find-it-reasonable-to-be-stated-here

success
is a big word
and deep word
yet measurable?
maybe

oh well
today is the first day i went shooting in the forest
real forest with real weather and real mud and real woods everywhwre
i guess the only statement that i can give is

"priceless"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
mengapa engkau mendekatinya
ketika engkau yang telah berceritera
kepadaku mengatakan bahwa engkau
tidak ingin mendekati manusia
yang kusukai
mengapa oh mengapa
aku tau bahwa ku tak sepandan
tapi apakah itu tandanya kau akan
maju?
jika iya maka bilanglah iya
karena aku akan mundur
tapi jika engkau yang tlah berjanji
memutar balikkan janji tanpa
memberitahuku
aku..tak.. tahan...lagi

katakan iya, ku mau ku suka
hanya itu
maka aku akan mundur
karena aku tak mau
kita bersaing
karena aku sayang engkau
dan aku sayang dirinya
dirinya
dirinya..
ya aku sayang dirinya
yang mungkin tak akan pernah bisa
mengerti kenapa
ataupun untuk apa


manusia, manusia..
susah beneeeer

aduh DEHHHH
aduh duh duh duh duuuuh~
gimana yah
whahahahha
pusink pusink pusink

memalukan, kath
kalo elo sampe ga bisa berdiri sendiri
elo yang beberapa menit lalu
ngetik kalo elo itu victorious
kemana semua victory elo
kemana semua kulit elo

why compare yourself
when its of different standard
when this doesnt matter
stop comparing
live life for your own
and do what you want to do
what you need to do
what you're obliged to do
and live life the way you plan to live it
not by others' standard
but by your own standard
based on the Wisdom and wisdom

Today's message that went straight through to my heart
and dig a big huge deep hole to it:

"we like to ask God to understand us, but there are times when God will say:
I understand you, BUT I DONT WANT to understand you. I dont want to
understand why you are dwelling in your problems and not moving on to
the next chapter of your life. Dont you forget that I have given you the
authority to conquer problems and fears. You are no longer weak, but in Me,
you are a conqueror"



and I felt like noob when i heard this.
its like... how can i forget
how can i deny
its there
its there
why dwell in problems when i have Him in me who already
given me the strength of overcoming my shortage

lol
lol
lol
lol

haha

okie, sidetracking: this reminded me of Tom's sentence to me
as we were talking abt gaming terminology:
"come here, NOOB. FEED ME, NOOB. NOOB"

funny crap
whahahhaa

wow i have not been receiving nonsense like this for a long time.
but it was very funny and good to open these kind message
once in a while...
reminds me of those pure old sweet times
and yesh.. whahaha i can relate to it.. damn.. whaha
arghhhhh doshiteee i.should.be.strong.and.not.fall. argh


10 Signs u love someone


TEN:

You feel shy whenever they're around.



NINE:

You smile when you hear their voice.



EIGHT:

When you look at them, you can't see
the other
people around you, you just see
him/her.


SIX:

They're all you think about.



FIVE:

You realize you're always smiling when
you're
looking at them.



FOUR:

You would do anything for them, just
to see them.



THREE:

While reading this, there was one
person on your
mind this whole time.



TWO:

You were so busy thinking about that
person, you
didnt notice number seven was missing





ONE:

You just scrolled up to check & are
now silently
laughing at yourself.

lemme tell you snipets of stupid drama that happened last nite

i was kinda tired after one whole day of crazy programming lesson
so (although that not supposed to be an excuse, oh well) i conveniently
forgotto bring home my white sexy superlicious white razor mouse
(the precious parting gift from IFGF singapore kids).
and i asked a friend to help me retrieve it from that comp lab
and so he did, together with my usual notebook that I left back as well.
everything went well. world peace. yay.


UNTIL i was showering
and i realised SOMETHING
hahahahahahaa
girly chat-on-paper stuffs, containing 'explicit, dangerous, top secret'
topics, contents and exposure.
hahahahahahhahaa
and i started panicking
and lynn started panicking
and i got the book back
and i realised that those 'super blah blah blah' were torn off for
safety reasons for sometime ago, and some of the traces,
i just realised, i had censored them with scribblings. hahahaha


man.. panick for nothing.
what a night. hahahaha

oh yeah i am currently stayin with Lynn cos:
1. more 1000X peaceful
2. convenient to sch
3. more relaxed
4. more warm

and so last night we went on walking arnd Broadway st
catching coffee and some snacks at 7-11 whahahaa..
1 am.
yeah
whahahaha

Un-understandable

Work. work. work. life. work. life
so wheres the love?
whahaha

okie tts so antoinette~
"where's the love, baybeh? wheres the looove?"

hoh i miss fashion shows.

okie tts random
anyway, stayin in Lynn's crib til her aunt come back
its good cos we are close to sch.
very close.
lol
and yes.
would like to thaaaaaaaaaank my dearst Vania
for the help in acting. hugs hugs hugssssssssssssss
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

and now... HW time:
1. DIVA 200 essay-on-blog
2. DIVA 200 max msp sadness
3. ENGL essay
4. FVIM <-- musiccca. ah what kind of music to put.. arghhh

my lil brother is romantic towards his cyber girlfriend!!
*kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa >,<*
and i dont know that all these while he has her..~
wtf wtf wtfff

kyaaaaaaaaaa
my lil sweet pure innocent lame cooperative brother...
has turn himself to a romantic gamer with girlfriend from the cyber guild.
i am traumatised...
hiks hiks hiks

Hmmm.. reflection reflection reflection timee!!! *ring the bell, wont ya*
okei, tts so unneccesarily lame.

Today i was helping out in one of my senior (from my newfound brotherhood here) to shoot his grad film. man, i can confidently say, i love his crew. everyone behaves soooo sooo sooo cooperative and calm. it was like.. dream team. they like, they kinda understand each other deeply, and tt kind of level of understanding.... i dunno. i was loggin so yeah, wasnt like big huge job or anything. and yes, seniors are super humble lah. im in awe. so yeah. actors also quite..pro and loveleyyy..

anyway, tts the sidetrack-but-actual-info. now, what im gonna say is my reflection towards lynette's blog entry (which, btw, i shld been doing my media history critical essay instead of this, but heck care! oke! inspiration comes first! shhh)

anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
yeah. i think i shld live life to the fullest
and not to forget that i have people arnd me who really cares
or at some point of times,
will stop doing things and listen to me.
its not like im not wanted lol
or i am.
well it depends
but yeah
i shld learn to 'want myself'
i guess.
ah well

lets do some drawin.
im freakin bored
need to do work but of no mood.
i cant force it out.
damnit.
lalala

Lalaalalalala~
life is somehow like an alternating current.
well, one day you're on top.. smoooth sailing, but the other,
down, rough choppy.
Ah well, like they say, just take a break and dont care so much.

i wish i can be that way
i should be able to be that way
just let it go
let it be
let it flow
let it slide

and everything will be put to place
cos He on top knows whats going on
rite, Beh? Loe tau kan?

So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. - 2 Corinthians 4:12

Being forced into hard places gives us a whole new perspective on life. Things we once valued no longer hold the same value. Small things become big things, and what we once thought big no longer holds such importance.

These hard places allow us to identify with the sufferings of others. It keeps us from having a shallow view of the hardships of others and allows us to truly identify with them. Those who speak of such trials from no experience often judge others who have had such hardship.

Those who have walked in hard places immediately have a kinship with others who have walked there also. They do not need to explain; they merely look at one another with mutual respect and admiration for their common experience. They know that death has worked a special thing in them. This death leads to life in others because of the hard places God has taken them through.

It is impossible to appreciate any valley experience while you are in it. However, once you have reached the top of the mountain, you are able to appreciate what terrain you have passed through. You marvel at what you were able to walk through. The valley of the shadow of death has yielded more than you ever thought possible. You are able to appreciate the beauty of the experience and lay aside the sorrow and pain it may have produced.

Death works in you for a greater purpose. If you are there today, be assured that God is producing something of much greater value than you will ever know.

(edited)





hm..... pretty beautiful writing that i'v gt from Primetime with God newsletter. lol.

and yeah. after i listen to Julie's talk today, i sorta realised that the installation art that they made are sorta erm..
'high'. Its ike visuals you see or hear when you're high. so yeah. man. get high with art.getting high can be fabricated by the means of art, technology and other stuffs. lol.

weird. whh didnt realise that til a few minutes ago. lol...

WHOAH~
im super amazed by how efficient google can be!
Lol. look at this:
was signing in for my gmail, and then a chatbox popped up.
well apprently you could now chat with gmail~ yay!
and then i felt like bloggin so i opened up a tab and typed
blogger... it staightaway went in to my dashboard~
waaaaaaaaaa~~` wooohoooohoooohoooo


okie. tts kinda too excited for these stupid small thing.
anyway... hmmm...
today's kinda.... er... whahaha
i woke up late. blasted 20 bucks on taxi to sch,
cos the taxi didnt accept debit i didnt go out yesterday to withdraw
money. and now im broke again. anyway diff story.
long story. lazy to type. lalala~

and yeah. hmmmmm...
im easily bored nowadays i guess.
lol.
well, maybe not really bored.
but like lonely.
people wear masks everywhere
and you really wanna see their masks fell off
but you're not the person whom they wanna take off their mask for
doshite ne.
or maybe im still stuck in my gaga-gugu mentality?
hmmm..~

anyway, tmr's the shoot for my vidart.
i hope im well enough to get them done and over with

Last night was a fun night.
Me & Lynn went over to senior's place to watch tv,
do work and do other stuffs. overall its fun.
didnt sleep til it was 7 (or 8) i dunno.
mixed crazy messy sleeping hours
but who cares.
okie, i care.



Raph>> i think of you (lynn) as *blahblahblah*
Kath>> then what abt me? what do you think of me?
Raph>> you? you.. er.. you're just serious.

lol~
errrr.. is not good rite? to be serious all the time
*kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
*thunderflash*

Hmm hmm hmm
yesternight (yes, another new vocab, wohoho) was the sch's halloween
party. LOL. and the best part *trumpet!* :

i.forgot.to.bring.cameraaaaaa <- so clever.

Hmm anyway. woke up quite late, so i .. eh wait.
i was at hm helpin cousin to style clothes before bathing and
rushing to Lynn's crib. Hehehe.
Gt most make up done by her and so we went off to sch
(which is super near her hse, but Nihal's friend Koichi fetched us)
hahhaa.

met up with Dian and yeash. i dunno.
i guess i dont know lotsa people, so in the end me & Dian
passed through th crowd to do some papparazi shots whahhaa
and then.. to the south building, design lab
hid there and talk crap til 9. whahaha.
yeah.. its super fun! 2 crazy indonesians laughing and talking crap.
super fun fun fun. whaha wish vania & mel were there too whaha.
the usual squad hehe

Went back to the North building, saw Lynn and wohohohoho
and Koichi was nowhere to be seen.
Me & Nihal ended up watching Gab's performance. Nice.
Funny costumes. lol.

After 10, went off to Jason's hse with Raph to watch southpark, talk cock
watch Shannon play game and watch more sitcom. whahaha
fun fun fuuuuuuuuuun~


and in the afternn when i woke up,
i realised:
ENGL! FVIM! argh~~~~~
R.I.P

now do work lah~

Hueh.. Last night, i think, was a very 'cold' night.
very boring night and very sianism night.

But thank God Greg came and talk to me
(no no, not the greg technician!)
Hahahaha..
Its been so long since i can really talk (or type wtv) properly,
saying everything and so on
and this made me realised that i am so so w.e.a.k
hahaha
Like. yeah. talking to him made me feel waay better..
but also.. instill a fear of something unfroseen but might happen.
well if it happen, it happens.... hope it shall not happen but wtv it is,
i m hoping for positive things.

And yeah
news that made my heart spring-ed waahhaahaha
some 'goooooooooood' news from him
and from *censored*. heheheehe
youngster finally decided that he's a male and he's old enough
to look and notice girls.. aaaaaaaaaaaah
beautiful.
i wonder, from the 5 of us who once lived together..
who will be the first one to get married?
will it be my cousin (albert), or my brothers? or Ken? whahaha
ya ga greg?

me?
long way to go.
looong loooong way to go.