GIla gila GIIIILEAAAA!!!!
My 9 buckz gone... GONE!!!
All becoz of teh stuuupid system of
havin freehand drawin in our STUDIO!!
Bloody Moses, why, of all... IMD?
Why why why?
Hahahaha....
Hahahahahhaahahahhahahahahahah..
BUt yah.. muz ikhlaskan...
Ikhlas,... Rela...

Yah dah lah... who knows they really need the thing..
9 buckz can be easily replaced if i gt my job...
& anywae, who knows those ppl tt took my stuffs,
they really need the paper, either they gt no money to buy,
or they juz lost lotsa money.. Well.. who knows....
Hanya Tuhan yg tau... & tentunya diri mereka sendiri...
If they hav clear conscience, they wouldnt take it...
If only they know their values, they wouldnt take it...
If only they are worth livin, theyw ouldnt take it...
Forgot to mention, Beat's was also stolen..

We suffered lotsa loss of papers
frm our A3 sketch books.... & she seeemd to be very upset abt it...
Pls lah guys.. dun take things which doesnt belongs to u k?
Maybe to u, u might think.. "ah.. itz nothin.. he can alwayz buy new one"
but for some ppl, itz somethin valuable...
Not everyone has the capability of spendin $$ for the bloooody cartridge papers
all the time...
& yah, stealin is a part of 7 deadly sins (gluttony & envy & sloth)..

So pls... pls.. pls... think abt this... stealin iz nt fun..
Itz not excitin...
Itz dumb & shitty...
Nothin degrades urself worse than stealin...

+Straight Ticket to Hell+

Wahaha.. this is a tribute to GQ,
my bro.. Hahaa
He's a niceeee guy.. & i blog this not becos i wan anyone of u
to do da same, itz juz me, thankin him. Hahaa...

He bought me this Coke float at the McD durin our stonin
session. Hehe.. so nice of him.. My bro mah..! (Bangga)
Hahaha...
& yah.. of all the dude i know.. GQ is one of those tt really
treat gurls well, sort of like those ppl i know in Indo..
Yeah, i can testify tt Indo guys, moz of em are gentleman..
they know how to treat gurls, help them wif stuffs,
serve da gurls etc.. & they gt hearts of gold too..
(most lah... except those immature se kia. . Haha..)

& yah.. so now u know, who to follow. Hahhaa

Wahaha... another 'stonin' session in the
usual 'spot' #1, which is McD..
(the #2 is Glenn's hse..)
Wif Mud, Gq & Rahman.. Finally, Hahaha..
I captured da 'wolf' in my hp.. Hahaha..
Congrats.. now nothin is impossible. Hahaha..
(jokin.. dun take it to hard.. hahaa.)

NOthin new.. My bros will be here later at nite..
they're comin frm Indo.. Horay!!!!
I mizz my bros.. i wanna huuuuuuuuuuuuuuug
HOki..!!! Waahhahahaha...

KIRANA by Dewa 19

Kucoba memahami tempatku berlabuh
Terdampar dikeruhnya satu sisi dunia
Hadir di muka bumi tak tersaji indah
Kuingin rasakan cinta...

Lusuh lalu tercipta mendekap diriku
Hanya usang sahaja kudamba Kirana
Ratapan mulai usang, nur yang kumohon
Kuingin rasakan cinta..Manis seperti mereka...

Ayah bunda tercinta satu yang tersisa
Mengapa kau tiupkan nafasku ke dunia
Hidup tak kusesali mungkin kutangisi
Kuingin rasakan cinta...

Peluhkupun mengering menanti jawaban
Tak akan pernah usai cintaku padamu
Hanya kata yang lugas yang kini tercipta
Kuingin rasakan cinta...

S'makin jauh kumelangkah
S'makin perih jejak langkahku
Harikupun semakin sombong
Meski hidup terus berjalan.... terus berjalan

Kirana jamah aku jamahlah rinduku
Hanya wangi terurai yang dapat kucumbu
Ayah bunda tercinta satu yang tersisa
Mengapa kau tiupkan nafasku ke dunia
Hidup tak kusesali mungkin kutangisi
Kuingin rasakan cintaManis seperti mereka
Tulus seperti adanya
Suci seperti dirimu
Ingin rasakan cintamu

Kirana jamah aku jamahlah rinduku
Tak akan pernah usai cintaku padamu
Hanya kata yang lugas yang kini tersisa
Kuingin rasakan cinta......

I become soo numb....
Tak kan kupercaya segala cinta dari Adam... (Adamnya Hawa)
Hanyalah khayalan belaka jika itu berada...
Tak ayal jiwaku mengingat kenangan pahit,
Siapa yang bisa buktikan itu bohong?

Hanya kepadaMu lah aku berharap
Tak da yang lain...
Karena hatiku t'lah mati,
Dihempas ombak Tsunami

(koq jadi ga nyambung, somebody, kabel please! Wahaha)
But yeah, i'm dead seriouz abt it..

Wohowow!!!
Farah (Fareast's gurl) came to Tp juz now..
Then together wif Mud & sekJhia, we went to TM
to meet up wif Fariz (she wanna giv him surprise lah..)
& yah, we went 'stonin' at Glenn's hse..

I really dun understand why, but the fact tt aft the 'jp-18'
stuffs created by mud... Scums started to be cultivated
within Mud's & sekJhia's mind.. ( not to mention Rahman's
& Samson's too...)
This is sick & psycho siah,.. They are suppper gay..!
Aniwae.... to sum up the whole thing, i really2 need to say tt
SINGAPOREAN GUYS ARE NOT GENTLEMAN..!
(well, except a few, ppl like Fariz.. <-sort of but not fully gentleman yet)
seriously.. get urself to be stuffed inside da dustbin cos u aguys really2
hav to be ashamed of urselves... Wahahaha....

Okie lah.. I sounded soo bad.... I dun mean to, forgive me if i stereotype
u guys or accuseed wrongly... Haha.... But i dun take back my words,
cos i am statin a part fo teh truth.. & really, u guys shld learn...
If u wan ppl to respect ya, be a respectful chap.. Whahaa..

Gw ngerasa bgt kl loe tuh mao bgt untuk ngasih liat gw, kalo elo
tuh ga sebae yg gw bayangin.. Mulai dr ga mao ngangkatin barang gw,
i mean, loe ngangkat barang gw juga ga bakal mati kan? Tapi dia ga mao aja..
Mungkin dia pikir, oh kalo ngangkatin nanti si Kath mikir gw suka dia.
Tp gpp seh, soalnya gw jg g mao ngambil pusink.. Itu idup elo.. Terserah gimana loe
jalaninnya...

Went to a prayer meetin wif B-Chan juz now..
Yeah, they were talkin stuffs tt made me think of everythin..
Esp when they mentioned abt 'ponteng lecture' which i did
juz now. Yeah, cos i tt, today's lecture was like 1/2 an hour..
Yeah, i feel bad.. sorry Lord..
& yah, talkin abt bein righteous in the eyes of God..
There shld be no 'grey areas', itz black & white.. Either u're right or
wrong.. Thsi is to the eextreme of our commitment to our God..
R u committed to Him? Or u juz playin arnd wif Him, thinkin
tt He'll forgiv us anywae...

He loved us wif wholeheartedly.. Pure love tt's not demanding...
& He gave us redemption of sin, by sendin His Son down to Earth,
bein bornt as a human... & the whole purpose of this was to let Him
die on the cross, to pay for our sins.. Our bloody past, present & future sins..
& so... now... when we ARE forgiven actually, itz juz.. not righteous..
Which explaines the whoel thing abt we, havin to live righteously..
He dun control us, He never set our mind accordin to whad He wants...
He set us free becos He dun want to see the 'lifeless' us, but in turn, He hope
tt we could understand Him... & do whad we suppose to do..

If you said that u loved Him...
Prove it...
If you know how much His sacrifices
& His pain to see you doin things tt displease Him...
Stop doin it..
If u loved someone so much,
Is there any reason why u shld purposely hurt him?
You wont, rite?
You'll try to please him as much as u can,
Makin him feel like he owns the whole world...
Servin him even though u know he might not be givin things tt u want
Servin him even though u know tt he might not repay ur kindness..
If u can love other human wif this kind of attitude,
Then why cant u love God wif this kind of attidude,
The God tt had given u everythin...
From the first breath, to the finest needs of yours..

We dun hav much time...
The world we knew today will nto be the same tommorow,
The house we lived today may be someone's the next day,
The luxury we had now may be ripped from us next week, next month...
Things may happen any time...
Unexpected, unknown...
So why waitin?
Kneel down & pray..
Communicate wif Him..
talk to Him, talk things out...
Understand Him..
As how He patiently understand every each of us..

Maybe we cant see whad great things He had doen for us,
Maybe whad we saw was unforgivable,
What we experience were irreversable,
But remember,
If u can still think wif ur head now,
If u can stil talk wif ur voice now,
If u can still sleep in ur bed now,
If u can still eat ur meals now,
If you can still read this right now,
Think abt all those?
Is tt not good enough?
There are more that was not as fortunate as u..
He will never test us more than whad we can withstand...
And through these things,
You will find mroe abt life,
Abt the meaning of life & abt everythin..

(I am on my way of learnin too.. To walk righteously in His eyes..)
Yes, I'm talkin crap we might think, but itz a factful crap...
Which turns the whole thing...
Itz not a crap anymore..
itz a fact..

Ciao
[Haha, i downloaded Dewa 19- Kirana, da song's nice.. Luv it..
Yeah, itz for me.. waahhaa... Jokin.. haha.. Juz coincidence..]

Wooohooooooooooooo
Today is freeeeeeeeeeeeakin colddd!!!!!!!
I hate da weather.. i mean, i fell asleep in da bus
a few times...& yeah... Haha.. cold!! all my arm hair stands!

OKie, we started our journey wif da mornin.. I wake up quite late.. arnd
10.. Then did my Digital Imagin stuffw until 10 30...
Bathe & go online until 11...
Went to sch, lucky i wasnt late...
It was juz a 2 1/2 hours of sch. Wahaha...
Ate at the canteen, lamin arnd wif lotsa human being includin Ms Tia.. Haha
Ate freakin hor fun wif Beat.. & talkin to Cing2 for a while..
Okie,.. now i need to admit tt I'M FREAAAKIN BROKE!!!!

Aniwae... Went to studio lamin arnd.. Enrique bought a phone frm Abel...
& yah... i did some sort of animation stuffs usin da lightbox.. which didnt
last long as i started to get frustrated over it & juz 'cabut' to free access lab..
Surfin my stuffs. whahaha....
& yah, later on.. wne to the canteen wif Mud, SekJhia, Rahman & GQ. There,
we met Sista, Benedict, Swartz, Kiwi & another dude.. but yah, onlly the 5 of us
went to TM to accompany GQ buy his figure drawin stuffs (or issit colour stuffs)
& wen to Yamaha a while.. play saome guitar session..
Then 'stoning' at TM's McD.. Yah, did some productive artwork lah.. for
life drawin A5 sketch book....
Well, & we started lamin abt scumpy issues, drawin scumpy stuffs on a piece of
tissue.. Very2 high excessively scumpy stuffs. wahahaa...
we keep on laughin & laughin.. but yah.. i will disclose this matter for the sake
of my blog. wahahaa.. Sighh. hahaa...

Aniwae, aft we went off frm McD, we stood outside, waitin for GQ when we
spotted this McD stuffs who went cleanin the table.. HE PICKED TT PIECE
OF TISSUE WE USE TO CRAP ARND & ACTUALLY STONE FOR A WHILE
READIN & FIGURIN OUT WHAD WE HAD DRAWN ON IT...!This is craziness.
Hahaha& this is IMD year 1 ppl! We couldnt stop laughin..
Rahman & Mud laughed the most.. The two of em seemed like they had found
each other... (not to sound gay..) (they hav the similar eyes..)

Wahahaahahahahaahahahahaa

Hellow2...
Yesterday was a string of madness.. Pure string of madnezz..!

Lets start wif the morning...
Came to sch arnd 9, hunt for Koko Sam's signature..
& help my friend to shot his digital imagin shots, which, anywae,
most of the time over exposed. haha. & yah...
Gt cls at 12, Felix was like.. a lil bit deaf yesterday, i was sayin
'anger' & he kept on listenin 'anchor'.. Stuupidity kills, mr Fel!

@3, we had Tourism cls. Wahaha, da lecturer was lame, & we ended up
in Design sch again, can u believe it? like, 10 mins before, we're in design sch,
& yah, walked all the way to Business sch & there we were,.. Design sch again..
Wrote lotsa rubbish. I dunno why, but i'm 100% sure (bot to say tt i'm over
confident, or proud or what-so-ever shitty lame ass), i dun think we deserve
the lowest for our ititenary...... Bloody grp! TT gurl was bias towards us...
Whad's her probs? But yah, maybe we offended her in a way or another..
& i'm quite sure when lyn said ADM Sewin rm is nt impt, she's kinda offended..
tts bad.. wahahaha...

Then, aft sch, i met those 'gay' lamers at the design concourse..
(Mud, Glenn, Samson, SekJhia, Rahman) So yah, we went to
TM a while.. Haha. wandered off nowhere... where we landed in the Food junction
& yah.. basically the most craziest thing ever happened in my life happened now..

Samson was askin Glenn to spare him so tissues, cos the table was kinda dirty..
& yah, tt scumpy Glenn gave his a panty liner (the one he asked me to giv him
out of curiousity). Samson wasn't really seein into whad he gt frm Glenn, then he was
sayin, "oh.. so smooth.. " until he open the package & touced the liner. wahahaha..
Samson dropped it & like traumatized... while Glenn picked it up again & used it to
clean the dirt on teh table.w hahaha.. we cant stop laughin...

& yah, basically Glenn apologise for scarin Samson, cos samson saw somethin tt day
which really2 scarred his life. wahaha.. & yah, i guess Glenn really traumatised Samson.
Wahaha, so yah he tried to console samson by sayin stuffs like why he shld know whad
a panty liner looks like & feels like. Ahahahaha...

Aniwae, so yah i went off before itz too late for Martha's bday party..
She lived arnd IKEA she said, so yah, i went to Red hill & bein fetched by Diles to
their home.. My gosh.. It was juz the opp of IKEA!!! & the whole place was like...
Wow! 1st class condo. wahaha...
Aniwae, we had the BBQ downstairs, wif lotsa adults & Pst Teven, Ce Anita, Charis &
Kiky!!! Wahaha.. I saw Charis talkin on HP wif cece Esther.. & yah, she's soo sweet!
My gosh, can u believe tt she talked like adult.. wahaha, sooo cuteeeeeee....
Charis!! cece wanna sayang u!!!

& yah, there were Feny, Diles, Anthon, Pat, Dodo, Ko Tony, Rita, JOny, Wei2, step
blah blah blah..
So to sum up te whoel thing, we threw martha on the swimmin pool. Wahaha
Cos she wanted it anywae. She kept on askin Anthon to throw her down. haha..

& this freakky ineternet.... last nite, it suddenly gt distruption & yah. cant use it
until 15 mins agao.. wahaha.. Cheers!

Aduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh~
kenapa gw selalu aja kejebak di dlm crossfire?

Padaal niat gw bae, gw cuman pengen biar mrk bs ngomong
dgn jelas satu sma laen, malahan gw jd serasa xtra..
Serasa gw tuh ga seharusnya nyampein,
tapi kl ga disampein, nanti terus2an bakalan kayak gini...
Apa bae?
Mampus siah.. mampus pus pus..!

Wakaka..
Today... Kinda wake up super early..
Went to church, saw Doko & Kurnia (fellow ushers)..
Today, we had this bunch of FOW (Festivel Of Praise) ppl
frm Bandung. & yah, their voices are like.. WOWWWWWWWWWWW!
Thsi iz crazy yo, tehy can sing like heavenly. haha..
& even made Jingle Bells wif a twist of R&B..
made "Ode to Joy" wif rap in da middle. Hhaa
& teher was this gurl who sang like Houston..!
ARGH!! This iz sooo wow!!
& yah, had lotsa troubles bringin in da chairs.. As lotsa ppl
came.... & yah... my feet's killin me.
Cos i borrowed XiaoLing's high heels wif elastic straps which is like...
6cm. Hahah & yah.. i walked like an idiot.. haha

Went out for lunch at BAKMIE in Orchard Plaza..
Itz Ko henry's.. hahaha... Wif Eugene, Feny, Dilles, Anthon, Wei2,
Steph...
Aft which the two (wei2 & steph) went down to SP...
Eugene went hm...
Then left 4 of us, so we went Heeren to buy some stuffs...
& we went to but present for martha.. haha..

Then went to Heartland to take a few shots for Digital imagin..
Then rshed home to upload jessica's file to comp..

Aniwae, did finish my artefact for my COMDI shoebox exhibition..
Inspired by Botero, but this doesnt mean my artefact is fat or nude. Wahaha..
Okie, lemme elaborate more of it, since this is my blog
Wahahaha....

Title : Heart of Gold
Description:
*Many folds in da back of the middle section fo the heart
*Right side is smaller than the left one
*The right side had been thicker as i wrapped the wire along the fold


Q:Why is it gold?
A: Because pure love's like gold (mulia.. i dunno whad's the english word for this)

Q:Why make lotsa folds?
A:It was inspired by the shape of the heart in my Design orientation shirt

Q:Why iz the right side smaller than the left one?
A:(a few possibilities) one sided love, one party loved the other more etc..

Q:Why iz the right one has a layer of wire wrapped arnd it?
A:Indication of 'protected' (shielded from outer world) heart

Q:Any referance for this?
A: Well, a lot.. There are many meanings towards this...

Q:..for example..?
A:The love of God to us, mankind, love for others etc...
(u can refer this to anythin..) (Haha..)

So yah.. gonna tke the pic somehow.. NOt now.. I'm lazy..
Gonna slp now... I need to get up tmr to replace Billy for
the usher. wahaha.. I luv u God..!
This will never change & will never ever change..

Oh wait, i'm plannin to get a tattoo on my right arm wrist...
On the spott whereby my Brazilian models havin their tattoos on..
I dunno why, this verse "john 3:16" keep on runni on my mind...
It somehow wanted me to print it on my hand...
Do u think i shld hav it? It'll be a small one..
BUt yah.. i dunno...why... God.. answer me...

Ada kodok, tek kodok, tek kodok
Di pinggir kali, tek kodok, tek kodok

Ah~ i forgot how the lyrics goes again. wahaha..
Thiz iz one of the lamest kiddy song i ever heard in
the whole entire Indo songs history. Eaahhahaa..

I dunno, had this urge to wrote this song down.. haha..
I am lame.. very crappy now...
Heh.. doin my COMDI artefact & Digital Imagin porposal at the same time..
Wahaha... Hoep i dun die..
If things go smoothly, by tmr i shall hav some infos regardin tourism in
Uk for my T&T.. & wif Beat2, take some photos for my Digital Imagin..

Doin COMDI artefact, supposedly some shoebox exhibition. Hahaa..
So yah..mine.. Da title is "heart of Gold" I dunon how ..
BUt i juz gt this weird feelin of wantin to do it. wahaha..
Rubbishy lamy mee..
(ah.. speakin of mee, it suddenly reminded me of the name for my
abt me html page for my multimedia fundamental. Haha...
It supposed to be "abt_me.html", but i pressed another "e" by mistakes,
& it appeared "abt_mee", so i had this crazy idea, anywae cos ko Sam
[my lecturer, who's indo as well] will get the joke too, so i continue by
typin "abt_mee_rebus_mee_goreng.html")
Crazy.. i am.. but yah.. this is juz me.w ahaha..

Speakin of which, i am crazy.. so now lemme start my lamin again..

Angin berhembus melewati waktu,
Sinar cahya pelangi datang dan pergi,
Pasang surit ombak di laut,
Bergemuruh... Melewati pesisir pantai..

Kuhirup udara cerah...
Tak tercium wangi semerbak mawar di tangan..
Mengapa?
Tak kutahu jawabannya...

Apa inderaku telah dingin membeku?
Apa mataku t'lah rabun membekas?
Tak da lagi sinar matahari
Tak dapat kulihat cerahnya hari...
Kutenggelam di dalam pecahan es,
Tenggelam,
Dalam,
Dingin,
sunyi,
sepi,
Tercekam,
Ternoda,
Terdiam ( "membisu terpaku, terpuruk dan takut, kegelapan menghalangi ku untuk.."
Lho, koq jd lagunya Mia entitled "teriak" wahahaha... )

Ga nyambung siah...
Oke lah.. ttz juz a part of my tonite's joke. wahahaa..

E yah.. juz now, I was talkin abt the 7 deadly sins wif a friend.
Haha, they are 'Pride, Gluttony, Envy, Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth'
Well, i am guilty of some of em too. Wahaha...
To be open, yah.. Envy, Anger, Sloth & (a lil bit of lust)..
We're goin deeper into tt later ..Wahaha..

Envy.. i juz dunno why, there are times when u juz dunno why,
but u'll feel envy of somethin. May it be someone's gd results,
someone's success, someone's experience in life, someone's talents
blah blah blah.. The list goes on & on..
I am learnin to accept whad i hav & to let go of my impossible
wishes. Wahaha...

Anger... I dunno, i shld be okie in handlin my anger, although
i juz cant stand strangers (like clerk, administrators, etc) tt
disappointed me or juz doin things tt irritate me...
Another side of my anger is... bitterness....
Ya know, God says tt we muz forgive ppl who hurt us,
ppl who treated us badly & those injustices we faced frm others..
I dunno.. I dunno.. There are some stuffs tt happens,
things tt are not supposed to be happenin at hm.. haha..
Yah, i wont hide the fact tt somethin's wrong... in my family life..
A very2 imbalance life is happenin rite here, even as i am breathin
in & out the O2 rite now, there may be things tt goin on in the other
side of the world... & I hate to remember it, it let me down & disappoint me.
Sort of like.. makin me envy of those wif purfect life..
But came to think over it, if Tiara can live wif it, why cant i? I mean, i cant
complain to God, cos i know He's here... & i know He know tt I am able to
withstand this... This is still in my capabilities...

Sloth.. Haha, laziness. Everyone will be guilty of this anywae. haha...
Laziness to do my hw, to go xtra mile for God etc.. But juz remember,
u hav ur own responsibility to do whad u need to do.. This is not
lalaland, get on workin. waahaa...

Lust, wow weh.. muz i elaborate on this?
Well, as i say, everyone's guilty of lust.. Crush started off wif Lust...
Looks associated wif lust.. Hell, Whad the hell is this?
Lust is like.. yah..everyone's guilty of it..
The gd thing is, this really depends on how gd ur control is...
Remember, u live ur life once, so make the best out of it..
Do not fall into temptation. wahahaa...

Wow.. Today... I.. wake... up at 1!! haha..
Ok lah, actually, the sound of my sms alarm
wake me up at 7... (my dad..askin me how to say
lotsa christmas msges in English)..Sleep again..

Then.. arnd 9++, somebody sms me again, haha,
so i silent my hp.. & sleep again..
Arnd 10, my cousin (albert) made some noisy sound as he
went off findin things before goin to my UNcle's hse..

At 1,.. Finally, i was sleepin when my Aunt (Albert's mom)
& Tiara (my singaporean cousin) standin beside my bed,
begin me to get outta my bed. Wahaha..

Yeah. so... Went to Peninsula Plaza wif em..
(me, Albert, Tiara, Albert's parents)
They bought a nokia phone, a digicam, a tennis racquet,
(albert) shoes, (tiara) S&K top.. Hahaha...
Yeah man.. hahaa...i luv goin jalan2 without havin to fork out
my money.. I dunno why, but well, feelin boke (aka penniless)
these days.. how i wish days can passed by without havin
to hink abt money.. & now tt my youngest bro haven gt a sch for himself,
i gta bigg huggeee headache... Man...

Aniwae, saw Farez (SITT's Beep) at Peninsula Plaza. haha.. Is there any
gig goin on juz now? I saw hell lotsa Skankers (the 'gd gurl' & 'gd boys' tt Mud
ever mentioned abt...), hell lotsa black clothin ppl wif guitars hagin on their
back. hahahaa...

I luv Farah to bits. hehehe, yesterday we were talkin online.. Yeah, & she showed
me a webcam of her. Wahaha, hilarious... (i suddenly remembered of GQ's
webcamin session, whereby he did a 'mudsmile' & showed me his drawin & his
new siemens hp. hahaha)

Yeah.. aniwae.. Tiara.. She gt herself into da situations... Haha.. The same stuffs i
gotten through.. Well, humans are lame.. As lame as ever, things tt happen to u,
may happen to the person sittin next to u in the mrt.. Wahaha.
I am crappin...

Merry Christmasss!!!!!!
Wahahaha... Yeah yeahh!!!
I juz gt back frm my trip wif Weishan, GQ, Abel, Sharon & Jason..
We went steamboatin at marina South. Haaha..
The weird thing is.. since Sista (weishan) didnt take beef, we
didnt take beef either.. But dunno why, nobody bothers to take
pork
too. wahaha..Thsi is weird + Lame. hahaha...

Then we went on walkin towards Esplanade.. jus becos we saw
Fullerton & City Link frm Faaaaar.. wahahaa. In the end, we walked
freakin 1 hour.. non stop.. Cos we cant find the end of the fence.. wahhaa
we're practically at the other sideof the rver.. Hahaha...
So ya, we walked passed by a warnin sign tt wrote:
"THIS IS A STATE LAND. NTER AT YOUR OWN RISK"
Freakin scary. Hahaha. but welll, nothin happen, only we found a
sun dial in da park & some chinese stuffs sculptures. hahaha
Played sparkles in the open field opp my esteamboat place. wahaha..
i dunno, today's great!!!!

Huah..~
Today's Xmas eve, indicatin tt the end if the year is comin...
wake up lateee juz now, took a taxi frm hougang to sch, cos i boarded
the stupid bus. wahahaha..

Okie.. so yah, went for my line animation juz now, but well, i dunnio,
today's some sort of no mood doin stuffs...
I'm like... still not in a happy mood or somethin like tt...
Currently, i'm in this level 6 design comp room, wif noone but me..
& yah, when i went to studio.. no single soul's there...

The place suddenly tunred into some sort of coldness. hahaha..
try visualisin a forest, wif lotsa pine tress, in teh windet weather...
wif nothin but some cold wind etc.. 7 u're walkin alone, like, wif
no direction at all, & u saw someone... but u juz saw, u dun go near them..
Interestin thought, btu this is the thought tt comes to my mind...

Okie, Ji asked abt me, abt how am i etc. How, how nice of her.... although
we're like, separated by oceans, continents etc & etc... but we're still
close.. as in.. yah, we can share & talk to each other, although i may not always
be there fr her & vice versa.. this applied to Riana as well..
itz more like a close bond of connection (hubungan batin)... tt doesnt requires u
to be there always, but u know u will never be far frm each other..
(jaoh di mata, dekat di hati istilahnya..)

gw tau gw tuh zi shi (selfish, jual ikan, etc blah blah blah)... ga tau knp, i juz feel
this way.... gw yg blg itu idup dia, tp gw sendiri yg sewot2 waktu dia
ngambil barang sembarangn etc.. Gw tau itu cuman maen2, tapi yah..
Ga tau ah.. jgn sampe aja dia jd ngerasa gw ikut campur tralu byk di idupnya,
bergaya jd cewenya, mao tau urusan dia aja... blah blah blah... karena gw kan dah
blg, gw bukan apa2nya, & gw jg ga mao sampe2 dia jd ngerasa ga enakan ma
gw kl dia suka cewe laen. haha.. yg pneting, cewe itu lbh segala2nya dr gw,.
kl ga gw bakalana da rasa ga rela..

Yesterday Vic asked me why i believe in my God.. To be true, i dunno...
Itz like.. He moved my heart, at times (but now i forget when, cos itz like,, countless..)
Do u ever feel in love wif soemone tt u forgot of why 7 how, buyt juz focus on the
love itself for the person himself tt u love...
I dunno, i read soemwhere this question, "r u prepared to love Jesus unconditionally?"
& i was thinkin, yah.. I dunno why i lov Him, itz juz a matter of how He can comfort me
in times of need, when i juz feel like the world's soo much distress tt i can only pray
& cry on spot... speakin in Tongue etc.. Then the burden seemed to be lighter a bit, & i know tt he's there watchin me, although he migth not on spot send His heklp for me, but i know this is for the good of me, he muZ hav His own plan in midn while writin the story of my life..
blah blah blah..
U dun need a reason to love God, cos there's too much reason tt u could even dunno how to describe, dunno where to start sayin etc...
I remembered of ko raymond's sermon.. he was sayin abt this a liol bit "sesat' sermon, wahahaa.. he said, thsi was told by his theological lecturer... & the story goes:

"if u went to heaven, then u see streets of gold, diamond etc.
all those tt the bible had describe for you abt the heaven...
Then u reached the gate of God's kingdom..
& u enter teh kingdom..
but what u found is not Jesus & Bapa,
but some sort of "berhala", idols etc...
& they were laughin at jesus,
who was tortured down there in da hell...
Where would u choose to go..?
Be wif Him down tehre,
or be weif them up tehre?

i dunno why but i would rather go to hell wif Him than in heaven wif people tt i dun trust or believe... this is the kind of Jesus Freak, freak love of soemone...

& gw percaya gini lah cara elo kalo mao sayang sama orang.
once loe sayang, lo harus ngaish yg terbaik buat dia,
jangan setengah2...
Loe kasih bebas dirinya, terserah dia mao ngapain,
yang penting loe tuh tau kalo dia berada di jalan yang benar...
Terserah dia mao jadi milik siapa,
toh cinta yg sejati ga mengharapkan balasan apa2....

This is the way on how Jesus loves us, on how God loves us..i might say.. haha
(& yah.. tentu juga waktu loe suka ma org laen...)
Makanya gw bs cinta ma Tuhanku sampe kayak gini, itu juga gara2 ini..
So yah.. merry xmas. hahaha...

Apa gw telah ikut campur urusan orang?
Apa gw lagi bermain api?
I dunno, this 2 questions keep on proping
outta my head.. Like never-endin questions...
I dunno, i sound sick & crazy & psycho...
Things happenin arnd me, if i care, i'll care too much,
if i dun, i'll be like shit..
I dun wanan be two faced, or soemthin which go against my 'nurani'
but i dunno, things ahppenin....

Apa gw terlihat begitu rendah di mata loe?
Hahaa...
Gw jg ga da maksut ma dia,
Ah.. rese2.. haha Pertanyaan tralu byk di kepala..
muz cool down 1st.. Wahaha..

Life is juz full of surprises.. & weirdness...
U dunno whad will happen next within this time frame..
Lame .. Weird.. Freaky.. Psycho...

Lots of us wore Santa Hat wif red tshirts today..
There was me, Mud, GQ, Joel, SekJhia, Glenn, Beat, etc.. Wahaha
Itz like.. xmas on TDS.. Everywhere i went, there'll be some unknown
human being tt'll say, "merry xmas.." haha
& Ing2 was sayin "happy xmas" to everyone.. Isnt tt supposed to be
Merry Xmas & Happy new yer? wahahaa...
Went to sch super early this morning. Wahaha, wrapped the last
"mismatched gift" for XJ wif mud in studio. Wahaha, we had
presents for XJ, Max, Joel, GQ, Sista, Freddy, Jason. It was frm
Glen, Mud, SekJhia & me... Hahhaa..

Then gt my cls.. did my line animation.. Went to clarke Quay
wif Beat, Mud & Jason.. I saw wif my eyes,the circular road. wahaha,
really nice. Then took lotsa 'fleetin moments' photos for digital imagin.
Gq came to look for us.. Haha.. then Chris wif eugene also showed up when
we're at the Raffles Place MRT..
We did lotsa stuuupid stuffs, & cool photos.. Haha, i'm kinda happy wif da stuffs
actuallly.. Haha somethin somehow distracted my attention, kinda
makin me a lil bit pissed but it was a second's piss-timin....
I dunno, i was bein too shitty juz now maybe. Wahaha...

Apa maksut loe dgn smua ini? Wahaha...
Gw ga ngerti, dan gw ga mao ngerti...
Skrg juga udah cukup, biarlah kyk gini aja hubungan kite..
gw dah cukup qaahaaha...

Truz.. skrg lg chat ma tmn gw dr tmn dia.. Kayaknya bakalan ada
masalah gede.. Kacao2.. Knp sih mrk ga mao ktmu & ngmg aja?
Aneh bin nyata... ck ck ck.

Huah~! today's fun.. Wahaha...
although i was a bit sleepy stayin up in the studio..
doin my life drawin, yeah i cheated.. hahaa...

(okie.. now my cousin was laughin like hell as he
was askin me all sort of funny lame sicko psycho
pervert questions tt were asked again & again until
I'm damn sick of it.. Hahahaa.. U're lame ass, dude!)

Went to T&T lect today.. Then did my stuffs in studio..
Very tirin, wahaha, until INg2 came to da space to talk to me..
Hahhaa...
Aniwae...
Saw Catherine IAD outside her studio. wahahaa, then we're like,
talkin until hours passed.,, Hahaha.. What to say,
we shared the same name, da same feelin & da same lameness. hahaha
Then went for dinner wif Sek Jhia & Mud.
Bought somethin for somethin. Wahahaa..
& yah.. tts the whole part of it..
hahahaa..

Aduh deh... Dia tuh yah...
Gw ga ngerti, kemana seh harga diri loe?
Ga da integrity banget... Loe kalo demen ngambil2 barang
orang, etc.. Buat apa Tuhan ngasih loe orang tua yang bisa
mencukupi kehidupan elo?
SEbel gw, dah gw hint2 ga ngerti2..
Gw ga mao dia gede jadi org yang ga da integrity...
I mean, walau dia bukan jd cowo gw sekalipun, tp gw care & gw mao dia
jalan di jalan yang bener...
Wahetver... What shld i bother anyway?!
Itu idup dia, bukan idup gw..
Cowo gw juga bukan.. terserah dia lah..
tapi ga tau knpa.. gw tetep aja jadi peduli..
rese.. rese.. rese.. wahahahaaaaa

Aduuuuh deh...
bad habit gw kluar juga... !
Knapa gw ga bs menyetop motor mouth & motor fingers gw?
Aduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Wahaha.. I'm damn sleepy rite now..
but da fear deep within overcome the sleepiness deep within..
T&T.. T&T.. Why are you sooo ma fan?
Whad's ur problem wif me? Wahaha..
Why issit sooo hard juz to find da gourmet & wine, rest & relax place in UK?
This iz craziness..! mommy, gmn donk?!

"You're lazy, U're stupid, U're useless.. A lil overweight.."
Everytime i heard this song, it remined me of me. Waha..
This iz crazy.. i shld end this entry before i'm gettin more & more insane..
-----------------------------------------------------
Apa yang kau cari?
Apa yang kau lihat?
Mata elang bagaikan belati tajam menusuk
Siapakah yang dapat mengelak?

Sinar sepi sendu di mata
Apa pula hal terjadi?
Seyum hambar yang terselip,
Kian memberi kesan kelam di hati..

Kucoba tuk rentangkan jemari
Tuk menggapai hati kecilmu
Tlah kautepak tanganku jauh2..

Apa yang kau cari?
Apa yang kau lihat?
Siapa yang dapat menggapai
Nuranimu yang pekat terjaga?
-------------------------------------------

Alowhaaaaaaaa....!
Tmr's Freddy's bday.. haha Hpe u can survive da day, man!
Nah, itz' gonna be xmas, i luv U God..!
U had been so gd to me.. All tehse years..
Aniwae.. Fellin broke but 'rich' Haha..
Gonna buy some xmas stuffs for someone. haha..
but dunno whad & dun bother wahd...
Aniwae.. Today's IMDP1 kinda ok.. I find myself forgivin
Alfie for tt stupid look he gave me.. Dun blame me man,
i send my IMDP1 proposal to like, 13 ppl .. so if many did
the same thing, talked the same stuffs..u know what happened then..

We had our own very 1st MewMoo Inc. meetin.. haha I am in da
Admin & Finance dept wif Beat2 & sista..
Aft tt, i went eatin wif Beat2 at her hse's kopitiam. Luv the fried rice
ala India.. Tts soo nice. hahahaa

Thanks be to God!
Cos my blog is alrite now!
Yeha man! He's great & awesome!!
Wahahaa..

Listenin to Glenn's personal song now. Wahahann...
Somehow feelin da same rite nw.. (the "tell me watever u want")
Hahaha...

Aniwae.. Today's great.. did my IMdP1 in sch lab printed it
out in Glenn's hse.. Felix Cheong was sex-ing again. I guess he had this
fetish on soemthin sexual.. as in.. in every lesosn of his, there will be
sort of sexualism tt he's gonan explain.. Or sort of self-praisin stuffs..
BUt aniwae.. i still like him, cos he can communicate wif us..
If only he could stop bullyin me wif his lameness! hahaha...

Yeah, went hangin out in Glenn's den again today, wif Mud & sek Jhia..
i think da mom is kind sick of us already.. hahaha, like, "whad the shit these
3 kids think my hse is?" Wahahaa...
Aniwae, yeah.. so aft a session of guitars, printin my stuffs etc.. Oh.. stealin
Glenn's own original song to my thumbdraive. Waha. cos i really like it. Hahhaa
We went to CityHall.. Peninsula Plaza to be exact.. Cos da BaPho dudes need
to buy black&white film rolls. Haha.. & yah, sad enough all those shops tt
sells the stuffs were closed. haha..

Bought a santa hat & lotsa 'fei wu' juz now. hahahaa..All HFC are to wear santa
hat & red tshirt this thurs. hahaha...
Aniwae.. so yeah... we went to makan.. haha, but i no money.. so i juz drank my
beloved Ice Apple Tea...

Pokonya, gw enjoy aja ini hari. Koko Herman lg wise.. Dia nasehatin gw soal
konsep suami lah, cemburu lah.. haha, pls lah ko, dia aja ga mao gw. haha..
Tp gw udah ngerasa cukup dgn ini smua, as in... gw rela & oke aja kalo dia
bisa suka ma cewe laen ato mao jadian ma cewe laen..
1 hal yg gw minta dr dia, cewenya itu harus lbh dari gw di segala aspect..
kalo ga gw bakalan ada rasa ga rela.. Begitulah, saudara saudari skealian..
Kisah hidupku yang rese, beliku2 kayak jalann rusak yang ga dibetulin
pemerintah 10 taon tetep aja kyk gitu. Wahahaa..
I am lamin.. Pokonya, bikin idup lebih hidup!
Gw ga bakalan kalah ma badai dunia.. Wahahaa

Wahahaa.. Today i was an usher...
Wake up like, 9.. Arrived at church arnd 8 mins to 11.. haha
Yeah, today's woprship was led by Steven J Chandra..
He's a lil bit (erm.. feminine.. wahaha, i'm evil..)
but yeah, he really can bring this atmosphere of
worshipiin Him.. It was like when he illustrated a story abt
how we often neglect God juz becos we weere too drowned
by the gift tt God had given to please us.. etc..
I dunon, at soem pt of time i found my eyes were full of
tears.. He was sayin abt this father-children relationship.. etc..
& i was like.. reminded of my dad.. Ya know.. no disclosure of the
story lah, but yeah... deep inside.. I'm hurtin. Wahaha..

& ate wif Putri, Nila, Anthon, Billy, Dilles, Wei2... We played pranks
on Anthon, takin his drivin license & Putri hide it.. haha.. Then we
pretend tt we did nothin.. Anthon was soo frustrated & he thougt tt
either the 3 of em took it, so he confiscated Wei2's cam, Billy's IC
& dilles' parkin ticket. wahaha.. In teh end we admiteed we took it lah.

& yeah, went to SITT's gig at 4. Wahaha.. They're good, although yeah,
some mistakes arnd but for a 1st timer, they hav a much higher standard..
Like, all da ppl there went clappin... Which i found tt cool!
I went takin their pics. wahahaa, & yeah, nice shots arnd, I am proud of
my bloody photogaphy skills. wahahaha..I gt to know Fariz & Farez. haha..
& Farah.. A pretty gurl frm Cedar (Fariz's) Haha..

Then we went out eatin, then went hm takin the mrt.. Haha. On da way back,
3 of the ppl performin appeared frm Orchard MRt... haha. One of em, had
this super nice face structre tt i coud die for. I mean, i'm not attracted for
feelings, but how i wish i cpould ask him as my model. hahahaa
Yeah, to sum up everythin, today's greatest day for these period of time. Haha

Pastinya gw ga bakal lupa untuk ngmgin soal 'biasa' Haha...
Ga lah, kyknya ada jarak diantara kita... Dia seakan bikin satu tembok..
Emang sih kadang2 dia bs kyknya gmn gt, tp beda aja...
Dan gw ga mao take it too seriously, karena ini jalan yg dia pilih..
Gw ga mao jd beban buat dia. hahaha..
gt aja deh... Salahkan gw kalo gw ga bs lupa.. Maaf..

Juz finished bathin & toiletin. Wahaha..
okie, tt sounds grozz...
Well, did our ComDI discussion wif Philo,
Samsom & sista.. Since Adrian & Vic couldnt come..
We met at Somerset MRt & yeah... i saw
William (da 1/2 indo guy in HIHS. haha..)
& Enrique.. wahaha.. (meetin who ah?)

Then yah, we went Cine to discuss over evrythin
while me, the ever-fat-bastardy me eatin
Laksa.. I juz dun understand but i had this
fetishnes over laksa nowadays.. Oh no.. Gendut2!

Somethin happened badly juz now..
i cant reveal but basiacally, somethin frightenin!
Freaky.. i cant explain.. & i'm a lil bit freak out too..
& now when i think over it.. hm..no guys for me then..
settled. wahaahaha...

Samson can clicked well wif HFC, i think he'll be soon in
our League too. waahah,... Wif Freddy's future business
partnership of MewMoo, i think we gonna make it..
Me & beat2 will be in da administration. Hahaha...
& yah.. i proposed the idea of havin the HFC series for
the Mewmoo. hahaha..

"When i was a kid,
i tot that one day
Prince Charming
would show up.
We's fall madly in love.
All my problems wld go away.
We'd live happily ever after.

Sure.

I woke up.
I stopped looking.

Prince who?

-Ufelia-"


[A poem i got frm Clarissa's blog..
Haha, all credits given to the poet,
not me..
But well yeah, every gurl had this crazy
stupid dream of prince charmin isint it?
BUt unfortunately, only a few will
get to meet the charming...
The rest.. "Prince who?"
Hehehe]

Ajarku berdiam
Dekat di hatiMu
Disana kutemukan
Damai (blah blah blah..<-forgot the lyrics)

(2nd verse completely forget)

Chorus:
Hidupku hanyalah untukMu
Segenap hatiku kagum akan kebaikanMu
Dan nafasku,
Menceritakan kasihMu
Ajarku berdiam dekat di hatiMu

Itz a song we sang in my church.. Yeah, this song
i guess, is a powerful song.. Like, it moves da
holy spirit deepw ithin u.. Hahaha..
Yeah man.. i dunno why, this morning when i woke
up, this song rang on my ears..

*now playin: Heart of Worship*

& now, i was thinkin, how wonderful my God is,
days & days may passed,
i might not be loyal to Him sometimes,
but no matter whad, He's always there for me..
When i ran away cos of probs,
He was there, waitin for me to turn to Him
& at the same time, sendin me comfort through
da ppl around me (most of the time, through da twinz..)

& yeah, ppl cant live without their faith..
I'm glad tt one of my friends went to his worship place yesterday..
Itz like.. yeah, in a way i'm proud of him.. Hahaa
He remembered God.. Isnt tt beautiful?
Hahaha... ( i sound like old ahma.. but i care less)

Doin my research on Botero now.. Yeah, clearly seen that this
Botero dude, he had wide knowledge & he had lotsa views tt he
wanted ppl to see through his artpieces.. He's great.. I can feel his
emotions through some of his pieces.. & i'm like.. "Hwow..!"

*Now Playin: Pandangi Langit malam ini- Jikustik*

Wow... Another wonderful day.. Haha..
Well, actually, da day started off as a wonderful day,
& as usual, 'thunderstorm' passed by, destroy my day...
but aniwae.. some sort of God's hand reached out,
so yah.... It was a great day overall.. Hahaha...

Yeah, wake up quite early but the bus almost cost me
my attendance... The 2nd Line Animation1 for this sem..
Wow.. drawin lotsa stuffs now.. Hikz.. lotsa homeworks too..
HIkz...

Hw List:
ComDI -> Botero stuffs
IMDP1 -> restaurant chain in Mandarin Hotels
T&TPla -> decision over which country to do as a project focus
LiAnim1-> A series of short cartoon.. haha..zillions to be done
LiDrg -> 2 quick sketches of Tp & the Lib, haha.. wif diff view..

Aniwae... went to HIHS.. The bloody freakin isolated sch, to get
my bro (real sibling)'s N ' Level result.. Thank GOD he PASSED!
Omg, i tt he will never ake it, judgin fmr teh way he was soooo relaxed,
playin his RC all day, playin his GTA, watchin his indo tv series...
& yah.. playin soccer.. Hahaa... & well, he gt 5 for his english, which makes
me proud cos never he passed english for like. ever since he's schoolin
in this bloody-English-is-so-important-in-sec-sch country..

Then, although i'm kinda sick by juz thinkin of teh homework... Haha, i did
went out wif the rest to SAM again.. hahaa & to esplanade.. Thsi time arnd,
we had Beat2, Sista, Abel, Rayner, XJ, Max, Eugene, Stanley, Justin, Joel,
Jason Nguyen, Jared.. We met Mel, Safirah, Alden, Joanne, Eugene IMD,
Osman, Lyn, Lina, Ili, IZ, ther gurl who was in my lianim1 cls,
Larry, Eunice, Pam, Evelyn etc down there.. well, sounds like a whole IMD
had been shifted out to SAM juz now.. Hahaha.. Yeah.

Well, aft tt, we went to Esplanade.. Da whole grp was divided into 2...
Eugene VSC & Rayner went off.. GQ was kindly waitin for Freddy & Alden
when they both left him at the SAM.. Ke lian him.. so yah, me, Jared & Justin
waited outside BUgis Junction for him to catchup wif us, while the erst went to
the destinated area 1st.. haha. It turned out, Justin's military way of speed
walkin sent us ealier than them.. Although we were waitinf or GQ fo such
a looong time.. hahaa..

Beautiful view, as Beat2, Abel, Stan & Juztin were practisin their BaPho skills..
We went to the beach side.. oh ya, GQ's sworn gdbro went along wif us in the
Esplanade, a dude by the name of Benedict..
We went lamin arnd, while Jared was 1/2 asleep... miraculously Shan took care
of him.. Hahaa

Yeah.. so.. this is my 'HFC' family:
Sista a.k.a Onee-chan: WeiShan
B-Chan: Beatrice
G-chan: GQ
Onichan: Jason Nguyen
Monkey/ monyet: Joel

Haha.. tts all.. God had been showerin me wif happiness.. haha
i go & do my ComDI & IMDP1 ist k? Haha.. see ya guys arnd..

Hm.. well.. juz now... there was this incident..
I felt bad... cos maybe i said it without feelings...
& it hurted my fren a lot...
It was on da bus... towards Singapore Art museum..

Yeah..Here's da story goes:
(Jared) u shld go & do somethin to ur face
(Kath) Hayah.. no need lah.. aniwae, no guy whad..
(Jared) dun say until like tt mah.. oh ya, mud..
(Jared) Maybe u can go wif mud...
(Jared) u two are okie whad..
(Kath) no, i dun wan him! Haha... [blah blah blah]
(kath) go & die, mud..!

Duh.. obviously i hurt his feelings by my last word..!
Oh gosh.. i am soooo sooo pathetic...
Sorry mud, seriously, sorry... I really dun mean it...
I'm weird nowadays.. haha
Juz yah.. pls accept my apology...
T.T
Gomenasai..

Wow! Today's outtin day!
Okie.. we had clses frm 12 to 3.. (Me & B-chan)
*me
*Weishan
*Adrian
*Vic
*Philo
*Samson
*Mud
*Glenn
*Sek Jia
*Jared
*Cream
All of us went to Singapore Art Museum to chekc out some
BOtero stuffs.. Yeah, The paintings were niceeeeeeeeee..
i love his skill of makin those 3D look-alike teardrops..

& yeah, went to BUgis for Dinner (ShiHui, GQ, Abel & eugene VSC added)
Ate at the foodcourt... Hikz.. da food, burnin down y neck..
Then went hm while the others had some stuffs..
Well.. They went hm in TAXI!!!! Argh.. I'm broke.. hahaha..

Yeah... Broke.. ! Super broke..!
So yah...broke.. hahaha...

Took the mrt wif mud.. cos he nd to meet Beep at my Yio Chu Kang mrt,
i wonder if i shld charge him for meetin ther.. haha jokin...

Well2...
Thank to Stanley & Beat2 for helpin me to
figure out whassup wif this blog...
Well, although we still cant solve da probs,
zillion thank to em..

Oh yeah, somethin is wrong wif this blog, can
anyone try to solve da prob?
& well, the stuffs that are supposed to appear
on teh right side are not there for the main page.
So if u guys wanna check out :
*Abt me
*my devanrts links
*fellow bloggers link
*other webbie link
Then click on one of the comment (doesnt matter if it has
comment or not), then frm there, the right side stuffs
will appear..


(My apology for this scary broken english..)
Okie then.. Gonna bathe now...
Will hav to reach sch by 9 to teach see Ronald
& teach Tobing on LiAnim1..

Signin Off,
KaKi <-sounds like 'foot'
(Katherine Kirana)
Kath

Ck ck ck...
Yeah, like whad i said,
I dun wan u anymore..
(anywae, like AS IF u wan me..)
but purely statin tt I will able to go through this
& sorry to bother you wif my stuffs..
Hahhaa..
yeah...

*listenin to Marcell-Semusim*

Haha... Mungkin, dgn begini, hubungan kakak-ade yg loe mao
be tercapai...

Haha,,,
An update frm me today..
Yeah, last nite was a point fo time
whereby i realised....
When u like someone blindly, when u know
that he's full of lackness,
When he's lackin of the important characteristic
u want, then it'll be considered as crush..
Affections...

Tts not gd... Therefore, yeah.. i am no longer
& i wish i am no longer attached to this feelings.
Cos crushes are nothin,
othin but disturbace in someone's life..

*listenin to Microphone Anthem in comp room*

I dun want to 'look' upon him,
well yeah.. i know this feeling of
kasih & cinta ga bakal ilank gitu aja, tapi yg pasti
kl gw ga mao ada hubungan yg lbh jaoh dr ini..
He's lackin of integrity, & yeah, ga tau deh..
Gw ngerasa, kl dia ga nganggep gw, knp lagi gw
musti ngerasa dia itu special ato apa.
Emang bener dia tuh special, tp kl dia slalu ngelakuin
segala hal yg kurang berkenan, yg ga
memcermin perihal Tuhan, apa dia masih bs
gw consider (itupun kl dia mao gw, haha)
Gitu lah..
tts all for now..

Hm.............
I was thinkin, mayeb if i lied to myself,
"hm.. He likes other gurl.."
or what-so-ever, maybe i could forget da feelings
faster? will this help? Hahaha.....

Since I tried to take him as sibling but apparently
i uz cant say the word "brother".. yeah..
I'm stupid...
HOhohoho....
& i care less...

Padahal apa bagusnya sih dia?
Dia moralnya rendah,
Sembarang ngambil barang,
Isenk 1/2 mati...
etc.. Tp apa sih yg bikin gw
berpaling ma dia terus menerus?
(haha, sounds like Parfait Tic 6 [Ichi's talk])
Bahahahaaa

Hahaha!~
At last, my comp is back to normall..!!!
oh how i luv this..

Yeah, God is good all the time yeah?
OKie, lotsa stuffs happened today:

*Major part: i hav internet access once again
*Although tehre was a big shock over Mud's hp
(juz now, it was lost, but luckily, we managed to get it back..
Haha, it juz slipped off his pocket or whatever it is..)
*Sittin for my 1st digital imagin cls..
*PK-in! yeah.. Haha.. (okie.. my legs definietly hurts like hell rite now..)

OKie... Now is 9 47 pm..& i'm alone at my hse...
& i'm feelin very lonely...I dunno why..

Suddenly, i had this urge to look at all my photo galleries
(within my comp files..)
Haha, to my surprised, i'm beginnin to remember abt the
nice stuffs that i had gone through all these times..
The gd memories...
The happy moments..
I dunno, feel kinda old rite now...

I can still remember the times when:
* I went to Lilie's hse
* me, lilie & some Crusaderz hung out in Novena
* The 4Hum classroom that was grafittied badly by us..
* The McRichie reservoir whereby me & Lilie spent our
Xcountry time walkin & discussin stuffs abt
What to perform for international frenship day...
* The paparazi thingy that i always do to capture pix of lilie & ricky
* The Sirat Place boardin hse...
* my cousin's super posterised room
* my old room down there
* How he always posed for pix at nites
* the (deceased) guardian uncle...
* my church ppl..
* The ritual of eatin lunch at Cine every sunday
* The old church office in Handy Rd
* Ko ari, ci Ria, Bryan, Ko Ray & Ce rhem...
* Dea, Agnes, Lina, Olip, Andry, Mia, Ucup, marg,Mawan, Ingrid,etc...
* Ray-Ma's wedding at CHIJMES
* Farewell nites year by year...
* Ppl in my HIHS
* The hang-out wif NIcole & the rest to Orchard
* The lamin session wif Chris & John & Chee Yan
* Crazy stuffs wif corina & sum2
* The windowshoppin every week wif Lilie
* The crappin nites wif Jokko on da phone
* The International Friendship Days & the rehersals..
* Goin-out session wif Jilly to Orchard, PW & ritually takin pics..
* Hang-out wif Dea, Agnes & cika every week...
* The phone calls everyday, lamin abt stuffs wif Dea
* The Nexus internet Cafe beside Katong shppn Centre
* The late-nite chat wif Evan & the rest of next-door gank
* The lame moments watchin movies wif acia & Dea
* The outtin which i had wif sherly everyday.. haha..
* The times when goin to my gramma's hse is still allowed
* The time when we played soccer & broke almost every crystal
hung at the crystal lamp on my gramma's hse
* The times when we hav reunion dinner at my gramma's hse &
we had this Satay man... Haha.. & playin firecrackers..
wif every maternal cousins...
* The outtin wif Riana & the phone calls every nite when i'm in Indo
* Her stories of life & her advises for me...
* The times when we always disturb our pri sch teachers
* the time when we cheated da tests & Major exams as a cls...
* The time when i copy stuffs for lilie & agnes
* The time when Sailormoon gank VS Dragon Ball gank turned bloody (haha)
* The time when i was discorsed frm reccess cos i hurt Trywira on the head
* The time when we played "Hai buta" & tennis-ball soccer
* The times when it rained & the whole clsrrom was flooded (bloody Ram!)
* The times when Sum2, Jokko & johannes were 'flyin' here & there,
showin off their wushu skills...
* The time when Sum2 was lamin wif me.. hahaa...
* The hangin-out times wif part of Cruz & Da gurls..
* The malaysian trip wif my cohort.. haha..
* The lamin session in cls wif SouFang
* The pranks we played as a cls on Hien Kiat & Siew Tong & Chui Dip
* The Es Teler 77 sessions aftsch when i was in BTSS
* The pukat in Lor G Telok Kurau, Bradell, Susan's hse, Vera's hse..
* The 1st sem of poly...
* the late-nite hangin out wif Mud, & GQ in McD everyday
* The late-nite hangin out in studio
* The PK sessions on void deck
* The reservoir sessions wif da gurls..

Man.. I muz be crazy...
This is crazy....
I'm missin every inch of those days, ppl come & go,
how i wish i could juz say, "STOP!!" to time,
travellin my wayto the past & relive it...

But yah, things passed & will never come back...
Thus, cerish ur lives each day as if it was ur last,
do not hold back stuffs tt u shld hav done..
(provided it's the right thing in the eyes of God..)

----------------------------------------
Waktu Cepat berlalu
Tanpa kusadari,
tibalah waktu perpisahan

Saat2 kita bersama,
kan jadi kenangan
Harga yang tiada ternilai

Kata2 yang pernah terucap
Senyuman dan canda tawa,
Tetesan air mata kita bersama
Betapa indahnya persahabatan Kita..

Sampai jumpa lagi,
Dalam waktuNya
Yang sempurna,
sebab kupercaya
Tak ada perpisahan yang Abadi
Di tanganNya
Percayalah RencanaNya

seribu harap dan doa,
Kuucapkan selalu padamu,
segala yang terbaik..
-----------------------------------------
Written by Dea & Karlin
Music by karlin
IFGF Farewell 2003
-----------------------------------------

GIla, my tears gonna fell any time soon. Haha
BUt probably this entry wll be too late for tt, haha,
cos i'm writin this at hm, & gonna post it tmr in da comp lab...

I dun understan why gurls cried over the guy they like
when they feel confused or thinkin too much abt them?
I never cried fro those feeling, which makes me kinda doubtin
whether i am a gurl or whad.. haha
Yeah, i cried when i knew he had someone he liked
(Andry & Johannes story), & i cried when i saw
'somethin'somewhere (maybe it was a misunderz but i dun care..)
But cryin over the feelins of how he didnt like me the
way i do or whadever it is.. i did not do tt..
This is weird..Am i a normal gurl?

Am i too 'straightforward' when i talk?
Do i sound weird & scary when i talk?
Am i juz a steppin stone in this world?
Am i normal or is there somethin worng in my brain?
Am i deformed or lame?
Am i strong?Am i weak?
DO i offend everyone?
Am i too clingy?Why, Why, WHY?
Da questions keep on probin my head...

Soemthin within me is shoutin something
somethin which i dunno..
which i dun understand
I need a break for this...
Why cant i cry now?
I need to cry...
I dunno why,
i juz definitely need to cry
to relieve myself...
but the lame thing is,
i cant...
I juz couldnt..

hati ini rasanya sumpek, mampet..
Ga tau knp...
Without any clear reason at all,
i juz feel stuck,
i juz wanna shout & shed some tears..
but why these tears cant fall?
God, relieve me frm all burden...
the heavy feelings deep within,
that caused by unknown reasonHaha...
yeah.. hahahahaha..
this is funny, i'm talkin shit.. haha..

Hm... Sunday.. haha..yeah, itz sunday, & i havent finished
my stuffs on the IMDP1, all i need to know
is HOW TO ANSWER DA BLOODY 3RD Qs?

Well, yah, i was an usher today.
i tt i'll be replacin susan, cos i she smsed me before her
departure to Indo, for me not to forget replacin her in usher..
Hahaha... Well, anywae, stuffs happened as Billy also showed
up & told ci Anita that Susan asked him to replaced her too.
haha..Such a lame incident but anywae both of us served,
cos yah, this is for the Lord.. haha..

Today's worship leader was awesome!!!
I noticed her powerful voice while we were prayin juz before the
service started. It was like, somehow frm my right ear, i heard
some sort of powerful voice! & i lamely tt, "Ah.. Ci anita can sing
tt well? Wow..!"Haha, & when da prayer finished, i opened my eyes,
to my surprise, she wasnt ce Anit, but a pretty young pregnant lady.
Wowow..! She sang like an angel, she sang like a warrior..
Her voice was strooooooooong!& yah, her "agnus Lei" really brought
us into da presenceof da Lord.. I think, clearly everyone could sense
tt He was there in da midst of us.. Hahaha...

Today's lunch, as usual, Cine!
Haha, itz like, some sort of ritual...
Last time, every sunday, it'll be Cine foodcourt day..
haha.. Well, yeah.. This is cool yeah.. but too bad, due to hols & post O'
, most of us went back to Indo..
So yah, only 8 of us went there together to eat..
(Me, Putri, Indra, Billy, Eugene, Feni, Diles, Anthon)

Oh, before tt, yesterday was Ce Jeanne Li's bday!
Huhuhu..!& yah, they had a bday cake juz now..
Haha, & ko Charles was the one holdin the birthday cake.
huhuhu... Whad a beautiful moment.
Hahaha... & yah, the two havin lunch wif pastor &
da fami guess..
(hm.. some sort of 'consultation' maybe?
Did i hear any bell ringin? Huhuhuhu)

Oh well, bersambung ke Cine's lunch...
Feni & dilles went back hm, apparently they were too tired frmIndo
(Once they reached Sg, they juz left their luggages at hm & drove to
church..).. Indra went to buy movie tix for him & Bill, watchin
"national Treasure' i guess.. Eugene went hm...

At first we accompanied Bill to Toa Payoh for him to check out
some hses, but apparently da place was kinda unconvenient, so yah,
nv really gt there.. Went to windowshop a while wif Putri & Anthon.
putri was lookin for stuffs for da bros & Anthon for his bday friend.
Aniwae, yah.. tts how da day was spent. haha..

& This damn comp (i'm writin this in my hm comp),
wasnt workin well..for the online thingy. hahaa...
So yah, i posted this usin sch comp..

*Listenin to "comment tu dire" again..oh i'm addicted to it.."

& yah, today's sermon... Is abt prayer.
"The greatest thing u can everdo for God & for others is PRAY"...
Ask God, consult Him...
Live ur life everday, start em by prayin, conversin wif God..
U will nv go wrong.. Although things passed by,
stuffs tt makes u thinkGod was overshapin u in away or another...
He is there... & we knowtt He is loyal...
He loves us & will never leave us...
Sometimes trials may come & go, but when times are hard,
esp when youfeels he's deaf & blind enough to leave u alone by urself,..

Close ur eyes
Try to talk to Him
Told Him what had goin on
Talk to HimComplain to Him
Told Him everythin that was on ur mind
Told Him ur feelings..
ASK Him to giv u strength
ASK Him to show Himself to u..
By helpin u outta those stuffs...MOuld u, etc.. haha

This will work.. I believe this,cos it happened to me,if not...
Somethin's wrong..
Keep on askin, or yah.. complain that "live like a Jesus Freak" bk..
Hahahaha....

*Listenin to Switchfoot-Learnin to Breathe*

Haha, i saw the CD cover for this "A walk to remember" OST...
& i was thinkin, oh how beautiful love is.. haha.
Although i dun believe i will get those stories implied within my life...
I dunno, maybe I am not meant for those great love...
haha, like those of Lilie's, Frida's, etc...
or those of the movie "AWalkToRemember"..
Everyone gt different shares in life...
Some may experience great things,while others juz 'dumbly' live their borin life...
like a street, they hav 'straight road' & 'bends',
a lil bit of 'bumps' but for others,
life was like an adventure mountain...
U may not know what to expectwhat's up there on ur next step up...

*Listenin to St loco-Freedom fighter*

Haha, talkin abt St Loco, da IFGF youth in Indo went to watch their
concert, haha, & gt the chance to hang out backstage..
Haha, ya know, cos Ko Abenk knew Nyong & Iwan
(da dude who came for our punky farewell..)
& yah, there was this dude, arrivin frm his car,
he's a designer,a lil bapook by nature... IVAN GUNAWAN.

Haha, Yeah, i saw his stuffs on tv, he's talented..
Haha, He's sick, yeah, wearin thick make-up. haha..
But wif his guy-attire lah. & he made a pass at Nyong,
haha, givin his"Hai, Nyong.." wif super gayish wasy of talkin &
they (st Loco & the youth), were like, "eww.! Haha"
Iwan rolled his eyes. (Report by Feni & Diles..) Hahaha...

Aniwae, they went for the youth hols in Bali..
Like, arnd 20 of em...They went playin all days,
4 days 3 nites, goin into those water sports,ect...
Wow, now tt was great! (Cos MIchelle's father owned a travel office)

Oh gosh, i am bad.. hahaha...
Next week, itz an usher week again (this time,
to replace handoko..)Haha... yeah..! i luv servin da God..

Okie, dun giv up Kath...
Dun let ur mind overcome u..
Race against time...
Remember what u'v promised urself..
Haha...Do what u had said...
Dun look back,Look forward into da future...
Whatever things tt happen has happened..
Nothin will ever change...
There's no chance tt things will go the other way...
There's not even an "if" left..
Forget da past, do what u supposed to do..
Never to think abt dia again...
Stuffs had been cleared.. haha
Forgotten, buried in da past...
U are stronger than whad u think...

Simpan air mata itu,
Karena bukan waktunya tuk teteskan.
Sudah tak da cerita,
Kisah tentang aku dan dia,
Kisah tentang:
"Aku dan kau,
Di atas kapal,
melihat pemandangan..."

Semua s'dah sirna..
Habis ditelan kegelapan..
Disapu bersih bak ombak menyerbu pasir pantai..
Tak'kan kuteteskan air mata ini,Karena hati t'lah membeku.
Karena cinta dan benci,tipis batasnya..
Membara bak inti Bumi, Dingin bak inti es...
Kau tak'kan tahu,Perihnya kau ombang ambing hati 'ni..

Maafkan 'ku,Tak dapat kubenci kau.
Kumengerti kau disakiti,
Kumengerti kau terluka;
Mungkin kau blum sembuh,
Mungkin kau lelah,
Mungkin kau liat celah jurang
Diantara jiwa kita...
Tlah kucoba buat jembatan..
Hanya kauhempas jalan 'tu..

Dan terima kasih,
Karena kau sangat baik bagiku..
Kubenci kau karena itu..
Kusayang kau karena itu..


"Akan rasa ini hilang?
Salahkan aku bila mencintaimu
Dalam hati saja.."
A chorus frm "Warna-Dalam hati saja"

Yes... i am RUBBISHIN..&
I'm sorry to interrupt ur days..
hahaha..sory guys..
I am lame..

11/12/2004Saturday...
was my hibernatin day..
I am bored, bored & bored..
Cant blame it, i wan it tt way.
Haha..Well, wake up at 10, but slp again at arnd 2
until 6.. How piggy is tt?!Was tryin to do my IMDP1 & yes..
like whad Weishan said, itz super boring. haha...

cant get outtta hse, cos my guardian forgot
to leave me keys & nobody was at hm until 9++
Hack care abt food, haha, i live on bread (1 loaf),
3 cheese crackers, a glass of milo. haha..
& yah, a few glasses of water..

This bloody lao ya comp of mine, it juz dun wanna
lemme go online. haha.. I dun care, u hav to..!
Or i'll smash u!! (if i gt xtra cash i dun mind smashin u!)

Listenin to ,
a french song sent by Chee ko pek a.k.a Frengky
(dun ask me why he was called tt, it all started frm Esther)
I cant slp now!! Argh.. bloody aftnoon nap...
Shld hav gone wif Shan2 & beat2 & Abel to
Bugis now, but cant..! argh..!Hm.. yah.....
so now i'm lamin & crappin...

I juz dun understand why..
I cant stop my brain frm thinkin its own way..
Why cant i control them?
Why cant i say "SHUUDP!"
It keeps on goin without meIt controls me..
It spoke lotsa words to me..
It makes me feel hallucinatin feelings..
It tempted me to do illusionary images..
Why, oh why..?
This is madness..
This is craziness...
How I wish God will juz take me now to heaven..

yeah, ing2 called me at arnd 1 a.m.,
haha, for a lame chat..
cos she cant slp too..
(another too-much-aftnoon-nap syndrome)
Yeah, we're talkin abt stuffs..
Hahaha.. I am bad..I think I'm evilish,why am I behavin in this way?
Is there anythin I can do to end this?
I know itz not supposed to be, but they deserved it..
They are worth bad-talked of...I dunno why....
I am madI am bad..Wish God forgives me...
Why am i doin things I'm not supposed to do..?
Is this a war started by me, to be ended by me?
Is this an 'internal' conflict within me & me?
Why am I narccistic?Am i Narrcisstic?
Do I sound narcisstic?i am dumb.. pls stop this..
Yah, think now i am narcisstic..
see, lotsa "i" arnd..Oh no... God, help..!

hahaa... I learn somethin lame & new frm Frida...
She was tellin me tt she used this lame term wif her
best friend (dude best fren):
He called her gf (gd fren)
She called him bd(best fren)

Hahaa... lame lame lame...
I was lookin through Beat2's gallery...
& yah, strangely enough, i keep on brwsin
sort of the same images .. Haha..
& yah, i'm dumb, stupid, a lil idiot, lazy, bloody!
Enough of 'lookin' lah .. Hahahhaa....

Bisa buta gw!!
Ini gelo!!!
pokonya, cuman hubungan kakak-adek doank deh..!
Jgn minta lebih dr itu, itu bukan yg dia mao...
Gw juga ga boleh maksa, ato minta lebih..!
Jgn bego..!
Hahaa..
Sorry, here i am crappin again.. Ck ck ck.. gaaghahaa


Aniwae, startin this monday.. we will be havin this
cell grp in our Design sch.. Thank God for it...
Yeah, dun really knwo who'll lead, but i believe,
when 2 or 3 ppl gather together.. He's tehre wif us..
Even when u're alone, He's there too. hahhaa
Amen?!

Hey ya~
Today, had my lesson wif Ronald! HOrray!
He chose me as his cls rep, although offendin
me by callin "karina".. haha,
Duh! WHY is every teachers had some brain
memory bytes probs wif my name...
Last time, da Heng Kiat dude also did da same thing.. hahha..
rangin frm misplacin my sirname wif other's name,
or juz anyhow creatin some sotr of name tt sounds like
my name etc.. hahhahaa Yeah, i'm ineterstin piece..

Then, i went to eat wif Stan, Linus, Jared, etc in da canteen...
Linus juz broke up wif gf... sad case, he loves da gurl so much,
i know he still, but yah... contributin to the relationship is
somethin that both party needs to do.. Itz like, u cant operate
a company wif only 1 person workin for it... Hahah..
Aniwae.. feel sorry for him.. God knows tt he did the best he could
to preserve da relationship.... Yah, Linus' rockz man! He is mature
enough to see whether his relationship is workin out well.. haha
TTs soemthin i might hav to learn.. haha... (anywae, i'm single.. Haha,
so yah.. this thing may be in need to be practised when the time has come..)

Then, went to my dentist. haha...
yeah.. it was a super long journey, like, 1 hour, & wait there for like,
30 mins, & the thing only lasted me like, 10 mins.. haha..
Very2 sleepy at tt time.. Its like, tryin to slp in da bus, but da
presence of an ahkong beside me.. makes me feel uneasy. hahaa
Went back to sch, chill ouot in da studio wif everyone.. haha
An interestin stuffs happened at this moment...

GQ (who happens to take CDS Phsycology cls...), he was askin
us a few phsycological test questions. hahaha
& yah... lets skip da embarassin moments.. hahaha (itz not true,
for gdness sake.. Hahaa...Do i look tt immoral? haha)
& yah... cos i was sleepy, my mind tend to turn into the lame mode,
& yah.. results shown tt i was very close, depressed, dak, glommy person..
Hahaha.. & well, brittle, fragile etc..
This is lame, i dun think so, cos i was tired & sleepy at tt times, but well,
tehn again, maybe subconsciously i am. haha..
I dun think i'm bothered by 'tt stuffs'.. although sometimes when i think abt
it, or when i listen to some lame genre songs, i will feel alil bit, erhem..
BUt well, time will fly... If this' gonna continue,
I'm gonna run against da flow~!

I'm sorry if juz now u were a lil bit disturbed by my results...
Itz not ur fault.. i dun blame u..
i dun feel depressed by those stuffs anymore.. haha
we're gd friends.. haha
haha, how i wish i could juz say tt..
but apparently, i'm idiot enough to nv say tt..

Okie~
I might bewrong aft all...
i might be thinking outta da box..
BUt i know soemthin's wrong
I can 'see' the signs within
So yah...

+Berhenti berharap..+

Aku pulang
Tanpa dendam
kuterima Kekalahanku...

Aku pulang
Tanpa dendam
Kusalutkan kemenanganmu..

~Sheila on 7

Bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!!1 Stop thinking!!!!!
Okie... Sorry.... I'm shakin as i write this...
I'm not calm.. so calm down....
I'm not happy, so pls be happy.............
I'm emo now, so pls stop.............

Why does it hav to be like this?
I can see the shadow comin...
I think I know "who"...
I saw the "who"
I read da "who"
I saw your response...
I saw your indication...
I heard da voices deep within my mind...
I asked them to stop...
I cant
BUt i cant..
SHUDDUP!!!!!!
DUN RULE MY LIFE!!!!
STOP SHOUTIN WITHIN ME!!!
ENOUGH OF THIS!!!
GET LOST!!!!!!!!

Stop this tears frm fallin
Be strong
Be courageous..
Nothin goes accordin to one's will
Dun think this is the end of all

+that THE END IS A BEGINNING OF ANOTHER END+
~Smashing Pumpkins

Okie, gw GAK pernah nangis buat dia..
& kalo skrg gw nangis buat dia,
tolong maafin gw...
Gw ga bs bilang kalo gw ga iri
Gw ga bs bilang kalo gw ga sakit
Gw liatdi dpn mata gw,
Segala tulisan, cerita, gallery dirinya
Kubaca cerita, kurenung puisi...
kulihat segalanya..
respon mu...
Tuturmu...
Apa yang tersirat di hati..?
Kulihat kau....
Maafkan aku...
Kuharus hentikan segala..
hapus air mata...
Melihat ke depan
jalan ke depan
jangan tengok ke belakang
Lihat cahaya
hindarkan kegelapan..

Okie......
This is a hard part of my life...
but if i dun do this, hahaha.... I'll feel guilty..
Cos I'v been writiin my poems in Indo..
OKie, so i'm gonna translate 1 of em into english...
& yah, pls, juz appreciate the stuffs..
i know i will change some words to make it sensible.. haha
& yah, pls take it as i'm bored & wu liao so i created this poem
back then. Forget abt everythin.. forget abt the past
I dun bear grudge, so pls dun bear grudge....
NO offense for this poem..

okie, some backstory. I did this when i'm in a super 'high'
'weird' 'bad' 'horrrible' 'terrible' 'mixed up' mood.. so forgive me
now, there's no such things..
This is shown as an art of Indo poem. haha
& Yah.. this is the 'bloody poem in red" tt i posted in
Devart.. hahha yeah.. Enjoy...~:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tonite i juz realised
the truth abt ur cold gestures towards me
which hurts me like a double edged sword
(inspired by the bible.. haha)

Thx for my bro
Who had opened my eyes
to see that not everythin
goes accordin to one's will

Thx to u
who opened my eyes through ur words & gestures
I was blinded last time
but now had shined over the reality
of your speech & words & gestures
I know that i troubled u last time
I know that i tired u last time
I know that i scared u last time
& this had passed ur sense of patience
thus u created wall between the two

& I thank you
cos now itz over
(some sort of poetic indo words, directly translated..)
Everythin had to be ended wif an orbituary
The death of a heart
The heart which hoped for too much
The heart in which a love of a naiive gurl
force her way through u

I need to learn
to understand and execute my word
The promise of which i would forget this forbidden story
And to straighten the bond between us

Cos i promised to forget you
Cos i promised not to look at tt face
Cos i promised to forget all the nice things tt happens
Cos i promised to maintain our 'classic' relationship (friends only)
Cos i promised to take you as bro
Cos i promised to choose this hard way

Cos i believe this is the best
Cos i believe this is our way
Cos i believe i destroy everythin
Cos i believe i ruined our gd frenship
Cos i believe i killed ur trust
Cos i believe i may not be the best for you
Cos i believe you want this to end like this

I will keep this promise
I will learn to let go
I will do my word
Cos lettin go is a must
Cos lettin go is a start of everythin new

Whetever tt i'm lattin go
Hope that it will favoured ur heart
Hope that i will soon forget your shadow
& u be a normal guy in my eyes
that doesnt hav any attractive sides within my eyes
that is not perfect for my sight
that is not afraid to share wif me

What to do, human are stupid
Longin for rainbow although its an illusion
(dude, open up physics & science book,
u can see rainbow but u cant touch rainbow,
so i can safely said itz an illlusion, somethin to do wif
the err of human, always wantin things that are not
reachable..)
Human gt heartbroken when they were to face the truth,
When they saw rainbow disappear infront of their eyes...

Gdbye my heart,
Hope you could let go
Hope everythin's alrite
Hope evrythin will go on smoothly..
Hope i dint destroy his self
Hope i can do my part as a great friend
No lesser than tt
but not more than tt either
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hm... Another late-nite day for me...
Cant go home cos my guardian's goin for a dinner...
& yah, she sent back Tini to da agency this mornin..

I'm sorry God, but i really cant personally like this maid of ours..
Maybe when she came to our place, the timin was bad...
Frm the start, we still had this 'bondage' of heart between
us & the old maid (Tina)... nobody is rightful to blame us, on how
this unfairness stuffs, cos things, unwanted yet unexpected things
happened.. Suddenly she was ripped away frm us, that was hard for us..
Haha.. But yah, juz glad tt everything's over..
I know she took 1 of my jeans.. my mom's jeans actually...
bloody Tini..! Nvm.. let it be..

Didnt really do much this sch hours... Went to meet the others at 10 30..
Then had lunch together, then was left wiff Jackie, as they were attendin
Jap.. (argh..! ARGH..~!!!) & yah, we went round checkin out the DSL &
VCS Studio.. Wow, nice photoshop's stuffs....
Then, had my lame T&T plannin lecture wif Mellisa & Rahman.... Lotsa ppl
i know were there too.. Then i had this lame IMDProject1 at 2... BUt in da
cls, there's only Wang Yuan & another guy.. (forget his name..)....
Then when tt guy called Larry, we juz found out tt there's no cls..

when i was eatin at Angkeong, tt guardian told me not to come home before
10.. hahaha.... So yah, since i cant go anywhere cos i'm lazy, i stayed up in sch..
Wif quite a few ppl... meetin them, come & go....
Then, aft mud & Sek Jia finished their UIR Lect, we (me , cream, mud, sekjia)
went to Gninah's hse... To hang out & chill. hahaha...
tried arnd lotsa stuffs.... tried playin guitar again..
Listenin to their songs.. haha NIce.. They gt da standard man.. Itz jus...
a need of some practice to refine their quality...
They can write songs.. They can sing.... They sound gd...
Haha... We went lamin arnd.. hahaha... talkin crap, watched Blink182 stuffs..

Somehow, i agree to Glenn's song... Whatever he had written in tt song,
itz juz sounds true... Haha, org tuh kl lg putus cinta yah kayak gini,
Aduh, pokonya Tuhan, juz let me heal at a faster rate...
Gw cape bgt kl harus selalu ngerasain debar2 jantung kyk gini...

tp gmnpun juga, gw biarin aja rasa ini ada.
Karena ga mungkin ilank, jd buat apa gw paksa..
kalo gw paksa, mangkin kuat dia ga mao lepas dr gw (fellinnya)..
Jd ya.. cuek lah...


*Race against da Time*

NOthin much today... last nite,
tried to slp at 2:30 a.m, but dunno what's the time
when i started to dozed off.. Haha...
Last nite.. Listenin to GQ's "art of Screamo" &
some other confidential stuffs. Hehe, jia you..
Gonna get a guitar once i go for another job this time arnd..
Then.. aft i gt my guitar, gonna learn on how to play it. haha
I am lame.. & always lame...

I had this one particular stuffs tt bother me...
If u wanna preserve friendship wif me, dun try to be
filthy wif me... I'm not jokin... I'm not entertained by
comments & sentences tt contains filth...
& if you are tryin to be funny wif me, by all means u can
go far away frm me.. I dun mind if u wanna chat, but not
stuffs tt can make me feel 'endangered.."...
Bloody hell, i gt disturbed by tt. hahaha ...

Whassup wif life?
I am sinkin deep,
Into da confusion...
Between dark & light...

Is there any shades?
between black & white?
Trapped between reality & lies,
often confused them both...

Da light are bocked sometimes,
& through darkness i began to appreciate light.
What are those tt stuck within?
Fear, scarred and fueled emotions...
Can you hear the sound of the bell?
For i am blunt at heart....
& i am idiot & psycho...

Wahkz! I gt digital imagin!
Wif Beat2.. hahahaa..
Today's fun..! I love today..!
I love Tia, I luv Ronald!!
hahahahaa....
I love da twinz & kribo & Esther...
I love my clsmates...
i love sista, beat2, GQ, Alex, Linus, Tobing, Mud, diana etc.. hahaha
I love u guys.. for makin up my day..!

Well, wif digital imagin, this emans i had to change my
life drawin time.. Which makes me kinda sad.. cos i luv the
cls.. but i need digital imagin.. but yah...
PRIORITY! tts why.... tried to let go soem stuffs
to achieve stuffs in return...
Ow God, pls bless me... I'm in a very weird mood now..

Apa gw ga da kelas lagi ma elo?
Kyknya mimpi emang harus berakhir di bawah kenyataan..

OKie.. Todayz da 1st day of sem 2...
Yeah, we had this great time gettin to
add drop stuffs....

I talked witf Moses along da way, btu it seemed
i might not be able to take both subjects tt i wanna
add.. Bloody me.. hahaha...
Ko Sam & ko Salim told me tti shld talk to Tommy 1st,
& they dun mind helpin out a lil bit. Haha,, Indo ppl,
KKN Rite?

Hm.. went to my 1st lesson.. OMGosh! Itz Felix da bloody
dude who degrade my stote..! IN da same cls..
Oh blue monday, why does it hav to start wif tt marks-eatin dude..?
Haha, yah, gt to the same cls as Samson & Alden (them again..),
sista, joel, andree, cheryl, & a few more.. Hahah...

Then, went for the oh-so-my-gosh talk ...
Then, ate atthe canteen wif da twinz.. Gosh, lotsa ppl in ADM
bonded their hair... Lemme see...
da twinz, sheila, Audrey (both), etc.. more..... Cecil (IAD),
Hahha.... aw, Kribo (Mellisa Indo 2nd yer ADM)....
Then, terence (da VSC lect), whatever shit he ended up wif tt bloody
haircut. haha Makes him looks old...

Aft tt, went back to the canteen again wif Mud & Sek Jhia...
Then we went terrorisin Glenn's hse.... Let 'em go play
guitar.. hahah, playin PSX Pocket fighter (i lost, bloody skill!)
Talkin crap.. Crapiin like hell. & yah, ate at soem coffee shop 11,
then went to McD... Super crappin.. Takin lotsa lame pix..

At Glenn's hse, i'm honoured (actually, wif sek jia too), to be
presented wif SITT's songs.. Aw...~ They kinda gd in doin those
stuffs.. I find myself likin da cover they did on "God is a gurl"..
& "remainder of Life" & "me & you"...
Yah, basically, i gt 'touched' by the lyrics of their songs... Itz yah, emo,
& i found myself thinkin too hard abt it. hahahaa.. yeah dude!
hahaha...

Oke lah, journal entry gw yg td itu, gw tulis waktu di
rumah Glenn. Abis gw ngedengerin rekaman lagu yg
dinyanyiiin ma dia.. Waktu dia nyanyi.... gw bs denger seakan2
dia nyanyi kluar.. ttg pengalamannya....
Sama mantannya.... apa bener mantannya lari ma cowo laen?
Ato gw yg krn msh ada rasa, jd gw infer too much..?

ga tau knp.. gw di bus tiba2 kepikiran, "apa jgn2 dia balik
ma mantannya? karena dia blg mantannya punya cowo lagi..
& td dia blg dia mao minjemin felem gw ke mantannya..."
Gw seh gpp, itu kan urusan dia, dia yg in control of his life
& gw ga bs blg apa2 krn gw siapanya dia aja bukan.
Tp biarlah... yg udah berlalu, harus berlalu...

I tried to get u out my mind
BUt u're clingin tight
Rite in side my head

I hope this is not the way
& i dun intend to go on
As i know you dun want this

But i keep an image of u
Rite beneath my vision
And i'm sorry i failed times
Tryin to ripped tt frm me

& i'm sorry
I'm sorry
For my failure

Kesederhanaan kasih ini kepadamu
Kesederhanaan cinta ini kepadamu
Tak apa ini jalanmu
Kutak kan ganggu dirimu


Bloody hell. hahahaa
i juz created thsi song out of boredom
hahaha..
Some sort of intepretation of a few poems
i wrote on my prev entries.. hahaa
Caution: do not take this seriously
As i did this poem out of lameness. hahaaha..
nothin happen lah.. Jzu the plain 'ol me tryin to
live my life pure & humble in the eyes of God..

Haha, forgot to mention our "beat2" aka beatrice...
HOhoho... I told ya, she looked great today..
Itz alll went rite.. nothin disastrous happens...
I guess maybe worryin too much givin u stress by itself..
BUt yah... everyone loved her hair..
Everyone's satisfied wif her clothin...
Iz not tt she needed to change her style..
Itz the experimentz tt counts....
Like, when u know u're able to do stuffs,
u'll get to find confidence in it...
& yah.... ppl will get used to it...
& they wont giv u odd eyes....

Ganbatte kudasai, beat-chan! Hahaha..
U're more than what u think...
nothin can ever bring u down. hohoho

I am lame, sounds like a mother. hahaha..
BUt i dun care..
(Oh, i saw Kiki & Charis in chruch last sunday..
Aw.. they were like, askin me to play wif them behind
da Crown Prince curtain, seein ppl walkin passed
by orchard rd.. hahahaa...
Certainly, i was entertainin but yet entertained by themm
Ah.. I lovvveeee Kidzzz!
Hahahahaa)

Mohohohohohoho~

Gw td dgr lagu yg 'dia' nyanyiin...
gw baca lirik2nya..
& gw sadar,gw blm bs msk ke hatinya.
Hatinya msh ketutup..
Sama luka lama yang membekas begitu dlm...
Gw ngerti.. ini ga bakalan kejadian...
Gt aja...

*Akankah hati ini berakhir?"

Woohoooo!
Luv Ya, Jesuz to bit!!!!
Hm.. Wake up kinda late today...
Then yah, as usual, grand entrance of
30 minutes late for my sunday service
which starts at 11.. Hahhaa...

Then... Went out eatin my lunch
with da whole bunch of Young Adults,
blame da youths, u guys goin hm..
hahaha... Tonite Putri was havin her bday
party, but yah, cos i'm goin sch tmr, so i didnt go..
Ate KFC (wif Susan, Indra, Anthon, Ko Dav& Blilly,
while the rest enjoyin Es Teler at Cine). Da Shaker
popcorn lame siah. hahaa.. Taste like those McD's
fries shakers.. Tottaly off.!

Accompanyin Susan shoppin for her niece with Ci
Jeanne & Ci wen2... yah.. & well, drop by Kinokuniya
before I went hm.. Aw.. Totally rock man! If can, i feel
like workin at the logistic in Kinokuniya.. haha Cos da
place really rockz! Itz like heaven...!
I saw Conan was at its #47.. (when will it end yah?),
Tsubasa Cronicle #8 (Jap version), Nana #11 (Jap),
Parfait Tic #11 (Jap).... Oh yah, W Juliet had ended
at #13.... & i saw Saiyuki Reloaded #4 (Jap)...
Hoh! How i love to buy em all.. But no money...

& yah, i saw this book, dubbed Yasha~The Next Generation...
Bloody hell! I wanna grab tt one & read.. But yah, manga
with super complicated story like Yasha shldnt be read without
full understandin.. ( i bought a Taiwan version of yasha#8,
it sux to the core.. cant understand a bit of it.. Bloody me..)
So yah, PLZZZ! PT. Elex Media Computindo.. pls translate
tt comic for me...

Oh ya, cant go ol da whole aftnoon.. Lee Guan (a.k.a Hulk, da
guardian's daughter bf) said soemthin wrong with the reuter
software.. & Yah,, waited quite long, for him & XiaoLing to
come hm & yah.. now i can go ol again. hahaha

Mud asked me for eyeliner.. Sad case for a bapok. Hahaaaaaa...
Is eyeliner an 'in' thing for punk rockerz? Gee, i juz realised tt...

Hm.. Juz talk to Herman on da phone
My ear is burnin now.. (kyk pangsit goreng)
Aniwae, yah, he's a gd brother....
Ceriwis & jayus..
Sometimes i wonder if ppl fo diff gender
can really be close friends.. But yah.. i hav
lotsa close guy friends.. hahaha...
Ppl like Bryan, Jokko, GQ, Herman, Mazmur..
Etc.. haha.. Some sort of real bro to me..
Ppl may say anythin but i dun care.. Maybe becoz
I'm a half breed gender, hahaa, 1/2 cewe; 1/2 cowo.
Hahhaa..

Sometimes, trauma can lead us into disbelief,
into some sort of givin up on it... Well, kadang2 org tuh
ga dasar mrk jd batu sandungan. Mrk ngmg kasar,
ato mrk ngexpressin themselves dgn cara yg bikin
kita gerasa direject, ngerasa dihina ato ngerasa
digencet.
Walaupun gt, loe ga bakal bs blg "ngak, Tuhan tuh emang
sengaja ga mao gw.." karen kita tau the fact tt Tuhan itu selalu
mao sama kita. No matter what shit we commit, no matter
what circumstances it is... Tuhan tuh mo ma kita.
Dia tuh sayang ma kita. Cuan kadang2 ga kliatan, krn ada satu
bayangan yg nutupin kasih sayangNya.
Walaupun gw broke ampe 1/2 mati skrg, tp gw tau Dia sayang gw,
Dia ga bakal bikin gw mati kelaperan, Dia ga bakal bikin gw
sesengsara2 apa, yg psti smuanya masih di dlm batas ketahanan
gw... Walaupun sampe akhirnya kl gw plg Indo ato gw ga berhasil
jd deisgner kondang, gw tau Dia tetep sayang gw, karena mungkin
emang planning Tuhan tuh laen...

Gt aja.. haha

Yeah.. wake up at 10 30 today....
Then went to bathe & went out for
Hougang Mall to meet beat for a
'shopping' trip. haha....


(wore my eyeliner, but very slightly
drawn, nothin can be seen..)

Yah, we ventured around Hougang Mall,
goin inside of all the shops & boutiques
which sells clothes...

Yah, wen tto Bossini a few times, in the sense of
The Incredibles. Hahhaa..
Yeah, she bought her stuffs (disclosed for privacy)
& i was in da shop, attracted to a bloody $31 nice
blouse. haha, but who am i to shop with tt load of
money? haha, so yah, juz take 2 pictures wearin it...
Can be found in my gallery 1.7

Then, we went back to Bossini, haha, bought ourselves
some $12 clothes.. I boughht 1 in black, she bought the
same one + another polo tee.. gahaha.. This is fun yah..

Aft tt, she came to my place for some 'tying up my hair'
session. haha. actually, it wasnt diff or somethin..
It was done very quickly & we found ourselves talkin
lotsa stuffs & craps too. hahaha...
(like, mud, he looks like gurl. haha, whatever.. hahaa...)
Haha.. Then we're talkin abt jap manga etc... blah blah blah
hahaha, I love hangin out wif her. hahahaa cos we're lame..
Lame enough to be connected together. hahaha...

Ah well, Glenn's vector was done. Now thinkin abt doin a
non-human vector. Haahaaha... Maybe a manga type or whatever
it iz. hahhahaa...

For ppl who didnt get u guys want for timetable...
Dun be sad
dun be frustrated..
get cooled down..
COS I DIDNT GET IT EITHER!!! Hahha
Yah, i'm gonna appeal for more..
so MOSEES (&whoever they are who are in charge),
beware of me & da gank.. Cos we're gonna be rockin da
office upside down.. Yeah? Amen to that?

Kadang2 gw ga ngerti.... Apa sih maonya? Perasaan ini
pengennya ngenyekek dia.!! BUkannya gmn, td pake
bercanda sama gw ngmg sayank2 segala.. I mean, loe
bukannya ga mao gw? Tp ga bs diblame..

Td Eugene & Alex
jg blg, ada satu tipe cowoq tuh yang kalo dah deket,
truz tiba2 takut, jd ngejaoh..
Itu bs disebabkan oleh kenangan buruk masa lalu,
ato dia aja yang masih blm bisa terima kalo dia itu dah
deket sama seseorang, dia tiba2 takut karen aga tau mao ngapain
ato bs aja dia emang cuman nganggep loe tmn...

Ah, gw ga mao pikirin lagi.. huahaha...
Pokonya, gw bakal ngegunain segala kekuatan gw, buat
race against the time, go aganist the flow, untuk berjuang buat apa
yg gw rasa itu bener, buat apa yg gw rada gw harus lakukan...

Apa yang loe lakukan bukan lagi jd issue di mata gw..
karena gw ga bakal dieffect ma elo...
karena kalo gw suka yah suka, gw dah ga suka yah ga suka,
dan apapun yang loe lakukan, ga bakalan bs ngerubah gw
jaoh dari apa yg sebenernya gw ini...

Hm.. yah...
Went to Gill's BBQ juz now.. Hahaha...
There were Alex PID, Xiao Hui, Beat2, Abel,
Eugene VSC, Chris, me, Toner, a few sec 3 ppl
they gt for their camp.... Andree... etc..
Kinda fun.. Yeah.. it was like.. lamin arnd. haha..
& yah.. Enjoyin myself a lot. haha..
Ah... lotsa 'human talk' also.. hahaha
talkin abt 'happenin' stuffs in their lives..
ah.. teenagers ah.. ck ck ck..
Aniwae.. i went hm with Xiao Hui, takin da same 70...
We were talkin, as usual. hah 'our' stuffs,...

The best part. while i alighted frm teh bus, as usual,
hav to take a path which is, like, shadowy & yah...
kinda givin me heartthump... but this time arnd..
Itz different... i can feel 'someone's presence beside me..
I can see the light shone bright before me..
I DUN FEEL SCARED OR INTIMIDATED by the darkness
anymore.. Yah.. cos I'm a lil cheeka freaka JESUS FREAK.!

"I found da light
that shine so bright
& God is here
With me

Always, forever more
He will never leave me here
Anymore..."
-------------------~Kath2401

m.. Juz got back frm Orchard..
Met Bryan (my fake brother frm Indo..)
Yah, he came for a day so I was accompanyin
him lookin arnd for clothes. hahaha..
yah.. He bought GIo stuffs & Bossini..
What a nice bro.. he even bought me 1 tshirt..
Oh dedeku, gw sayang bgt ma elo. Thx yah...

Well, i forgot to off this comp last nite, the
spysweeper was workin all the nite, takin
itz time slowly.. I dunno whether the spywares
were toatlly removed but yah.. maybe tmr i'll do it
again.. (the sweeping)...

This morn, went down to HIHS again. haha, tryin to
meet Pauline Wong to BEG a place for my brother..
BUt yah, she's not there. Hahaha.. & i foud myself
tryin to sound desperate to the administrator clerk,
who was (i guess) kidna pity me & let me write my
bro's name on da waitin list... Hahhaa.. Ya know..
KKN (korupsi, kolusi, nepotisme..)
Dude, itz like.. me & my bro & my cousins had spent
our lives down there, what's da prob of u gettin
another one of us there? Hahaha...

I found myslef bringin tt "live like a Jesus Freak"
everywhere... & yah.. i was readin abt joy & happines...
Happiness are feelings that often get stimulated out due
to the stimuli frm our surrounding.... So yah,

(this is what they write) when ur friends get killed by a
drunken driver, when u're in confusion of "she loves me,
she loves me not"... these stuffs can take away your
happiness.. Sometimes, juz when u think u're on the peak
of happiness, things happen & grabbed it from u juz like tt...

So there's another constant one, which is JOY. Joy is a feelin
that was there, naturally when u are in peace with Him. When
u believe in HIm, u'll find urself joyful.. This feelin does not get
stolen away from circumstances, nor it is stimulated by stuffs
that happen around you. So yah.. Everyone can se the joy tt
lighted up in ur eyes.. Haha..

Aniwae.. I am a Jesus Freak. a beginner.. & I need ot learn more
things to get myself to be a better human, to give my beat to
the Lord... Haha.. Yeah!

Aniwae.. Saw this albino guy.. kinda tall, his hair was kinda long
& straight... but yah.. i spotted him comin out frm the MRT when
i'm boardin tt train & yah... the 1st impression was, "WoW!!
georgeous (homo)sapiens!!!!!!" seriously, i dunno why, but the fact
that tt albino guy attracted my attention was in an odd way..
Until now, i keep on thinkin abt his appearance.. Hahaha..
gte what i meam? If i'm a pro photographer, hell i would love to ask
him to be my model. hahaha...

Aniwae.. Saw stanley the dude in the fashion line.. He was eatin
somethin. Hahaha.. yah, but he walked super fast, didnt even hav
da chance to say hi.. Hahhaa.. Yah... so well...

I saw this on Helen's friendster.. & it'z lame..
yeah some was "me", otherz are juz not.. haha

are you indonesian?! see for yourself :P
* Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice for a day.
*You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.
*You talk during a movie.
*You eat fried rice in the morning.
*You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi's.
*You don't think Jim Carrey is funny.
*You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
*You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.
*carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
*Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you.
*You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways,
because you are homesick.
*You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.
*You are "Dreaming of a WARM Christmas".
*You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards.
*Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal.
*You think Supermi is a staple food.
*You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a
US vending machine/pay phone.
*You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.
*You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.
*You do your shopping in Singapore.
*Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are
*.You have ever legally bought pirated software.
*You have ever been forced to memorize UUD'45.
*You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.
*You know exactly how many islands Indonesia has.
*You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.
*You realized that money is everything before you were six.
*The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word "Jakarta" is "macet".
*Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.
*Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.
*You don't mind people being late.
*You think standing in line is a waste of time.
*You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera.
*You have used a mosquito repellant that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.
*You use the terms "Ni yee", "-lah" and "Ih, jijay" on daily basis
*You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.
*You complain that movies in America don't have sub-titles.
*Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.
*You have ever consulted a dukun.
*Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
*You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.
*You like the smell of terasi.
*You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.
*You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks/badminton birdies.
*You have a 16' satellite dish hidden in your back yard.
*You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.
*You miss your maid during laundry day.
*Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50' away.
*You attend weddings only until you are done eating.
*You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.
*You go to McDonald's to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins.
*You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries' "Zombie".
*You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
*You make major decisions based on gengsi.
*You take advantage of Wal-Mart's 30 days money-back-guarantee to "borrow" home appliances.
*Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar.
*You have paid more then $1000 to get your name on your license plate.
*When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.
*You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.
*You set the ring tone of your cell phone as loud as possible.
*You spend your weekends at an expensive five star hotel near your house.
*You have one of those gigantic 5000 watts stereo system even though you can't turn it as loud as you can since you live in a crowded neighborhood.
*Your Toyota Kijang is packed with bull bar, fog lights, roof rail, car alarm, expensive car audio, gold plated emblems, tail light "protector", racing steering wheels, sports muffler, lowered suspension, 17 inch wheels with expensive tires, etc. Yet you find them not gaul enough.
*You are able to squeeze 15 passengers in your Toyota Kijang.
*If you're rich, you buy a huge 50.000 dollars imported SUV and demands it to run minimal 12 kilometers with a liter of gas.
*You refuse to buy unleaded gas for your imported car even though it costs less than 20 cents a liter.
*You have your drivers license at the age of 14.
*You got it without any driving tests.
*You are unfamiliar with electric stove.
*You are even more unfamiliar with microwave ovens.
*If you're a student, your main purpose in life is to succeed in UMPTN and get into a Universitas Negeri.
*If you've graduated from college, your main purpose in life is to find an easy job with big salary at a foreign company even if you have to stay unemployed for five years to find one.
*If you finally got a job, your main purpose in life is now to get a wife/husband that's rich, from a "good" family, and the most importantly good looking in order to memperbaiki keturunan.
*You're proud to be Indonesian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Indonesian friends!


(Wahahaaha.. cant believe i'm passin da joke!
Yeah, I'm proud to be one! we rockz da world!
Hahahaa... ... ... ... ... & I'm lame...)

Kath & da Hoki 

Hm....
"no one really knows why this is happenin..~"
Good Charlotte ~ The world is black

Okie.. Now i'm gonna start on my 'stuffs'..
Haha.. a.k.a auntie style... Yeah...
Now tt i read in this "Live Like A Jesus Freak",
this dude, Brennan, a band personel frm DC Talk
(who wrote da book together), said,

"The single greatest cause of Atheism in the world
today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their
lips, then walk out the door and deny Him by their
lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply
finds unbelievable..."

NOw.. Dudes..! (u know this sounds a referance to who..)
I find it very agreeable... Like, how can u say that
you're a devout christian, a passionate worshipper,
when out there, u're stealin others' gurl or doin
other sinful stuffs like gamblin.. etc... Whatever it is...
the world judge everythin by actions... by words...
but as actions speak louder than words... Whatever u're
sayin doesnt matter anymore rite?

Well, I'm not sayin tt this is for Christians only, but look,
take a look at what u've done.. hav u betray ur God by
the actions tt u did?

OKie.. now abt bein a Jesus Freak...
Jesus was kinda harsh when he said to a man who asked
Jesus to wait for him, cos he need to bury his father..
Jesus said, "Let the dead bury themselves..."
Sounds He's unreasonable enough for us to follow Him..
But by this, Jesus was sayin tt, "hey dudes, followin Me
is not an easy task.. Itz not what u say u want, then u do,
u dun want then u dun do.. This is a lifetime commitment..
There's no turnin back..~ Itz either u're in this, or you're not..


well, whatever it is.....
If in doubt.. fall on ur knees, or juz sit,
Pray, pray, pray..
Ask of what the things He expected from you...
Listen to the single detailed hard-to-catch signal,
or propechy, or whatever it is....
Try to connect urself with Him...
Call Him, ask Him.. Talk to Him..

It doesnt matter what religion u are,
IF your God is a real God, will he forsake you?
He MAY test ur commitment towards Him..
but He will NEVER forsake you...

Now I'm back to square one.. Tryin to build da
relationship that had long been absent frm this
Human-God relationship...


Save me, God!
I am about to drown.
I am sinking deep in the mud,
and my feet are slipping.
I am about to be swept under
by a mighty fllod.
I am worn out of crying,
and my throat is dry.
I have waited for You
till my eyes are blurred.
----------------Psalm 69:1-3

Okay...
(I accidentally on purpose presses submit juz now..)
NOw itz time for real business..
I'm down, like what i said juz now.. & at that
moments, i was askin, "why God? Why me?
Why did You send all these stuffs to me at the
same time? How can i handle this? R U nutz?
R U God? R U faithful?"
Well, believe me.. I was broke (now), I was pissed
& i was confused..
I tried to pray, like, God, comfort me.. but nothin happen
though...

Cos i went to Holy High, i had to transfer bus at Sengkang
interchange..
"Since I'm in a bad mood, might as well i look arnd, cool
myself, try on clothin..."
Went to Metro at CompassPoint..Didnt find anythin nice..
I was strollin arnd, & i saw Popular... I was plannin to get
there when this shop "the daily Gift" appeared before
my eyes.. Yah.. somethin deep within brought me into tt
shop...Ah well, so i was looking at the CDs, hopin to get the
old sonicFlood Cd which the cassette i had lost.. Haha...
They didnt hav it, but yah.. somethin probe me to go
round the shop.. & the thought "Jesus Freak" came..
conquerin my thought. Ya i searched for it, saw it at
the shelves...

It came in 3 type.. "Jesus Freak", "Jesus Freak Vol 2" &
"Live like a Jesus Freak".. Well i was lookin at the powerful
price... $31.40.. BUt i know this is what i want ever since..
Readin some of the stuffs...Then i came across this articles...
Itz abt a man.. a ypung muslim priest in Pakistan,
persecutin Christian.. Well, kinda okay.. then i flip a few
more pages.. I saw this one, one tt 'open' my eyes..

There was a woman whose family helped the Jewish to
escape frm da Nazis.. Aniwae.. so they're capyured at last
& thrown into the cell. But both her & the sista keep on givin
hope & givin each other strength. da sista died aniwae.. & yah..
time passed, she was freed when Nazi lost. She continued to
preach everywhere...... until....
one day, aft she was preachin.. She saw a familiar face tt
makes her heart fueled with hatred.. He was one of the Nazi
guards tt she saw guardin the shower room section... Well yah,
aniwae. . he reached out his hands to shake her, but well.. she said..
she was full of anger... Then she prayed to God... like, "god take
away my anger & hatred.." & so she tried to take his hands.. &
amazingly, she said, there was a current of forgiveness tt run
through her hands....

"can we forgive those who hurts us?"

suddenly, da woman asked me whether i would mind goin out
of her shop since she'll be havin her break so yah.. i dunno why..
BUT I PURCHASED THE $24 book....!

Yah.. read a lot of stuffs juz now.... frm the book...
lemme blog it to u guys next time.. Adioz..!

Whatever happens to me this mornin....
I'm sorry if i was usin lotsa vulgar stuffs..
I'm yah.. kinda stucked up this mornin..
It's not anyone's fault, really...
I'm juz not workin hard enough.. Hahha..

OKie, so to sum everythin tt happen,
I was gettin a freaky timetable...
Then came a call frm my guardian...
She was talkin abt money! Askin me to pay the
full boardin fee for Nov.. Hell yah whatever..~
Then yah, Bowen rejected my bro... So i had
to come down to Holy high, which i nv go before.
(the new buildin i mean..)...
Aniwae.. setttled on tt...

Thx to Jokko & corina for listenin to me.. To all my
rubbishin, all my fear & thoughts... Thx Jokko, for
ur patience to bear all my bitchiness abt everythin,
to bear my scoldin of u, even when u didnt do anythin..
Haha... u're always be my brother!

OKie... Went to meet Sista, Beat & Sharon at TM..
Ate an ice cream cone with M&Ms toppin...
Bought Lilie's stuffs..
Go walk around TM
Saw lotsa The Incredibles stuffs
Saw Lil Jack2 stuffs in Toy R Us

Before that, I was a lil bit gettin the "highness"
i guess.... When i was online in da aftnoon....
Stuffs happens.... Nah, not happen.. more like..
stuffs reminded me..
Yah.. i did a translation over my poem.. The dead red
angsty poem... Nvm if u dun know...
It was stupid... reachin high stupidity level i guess....
What stupid facts i were usin.. What rubbish rainbow stuffs,
so poetic yet lame.. hahaha..
nah, tts nt what caused my highness...
But da fact tt 3 homosapiens havin da same probs which is
reflected in da poem...
Really makes me think abt my poems...
Abt the words... Abt the meaning of the words....
Yeah.. like one said, it was really frm da heart...
Totally describin what had happened...

Yeah.. now i know that my rubbishin talent had resurfaced
I always knew tt my Bahasa Indo was great! Hhahaa....
& like.. many complained abt the depth of the words i used,
to be true.. some were used out of rhymin stuffs....
While others.. juz came out of me suddenly....
Kinda spontaneously.... God bless me...

Life is gettin easier & easier these days.. I'm afraid of
tommorow.. BUtwhat it is to be afraid of? When God
is always with me.. Amen.. !

Watched Singapore idol juz now.. To be true.. i am okay
with Taufik's way of singin... Yah he's talented yo..~
But to be true.. he had a hard time singin
"perfect"~Hoobastank. I looooooooooove his eyes..
Super sexy gorgeous eyes...
(although Lee Gwan said it was bapok)
Nah... I didnt think so.. (am i doubtin myself..?)
As for the chinese rocke rdude.. Too bad he's singin tt
bon jovi piece.. I personally think khe's not constant
with the way he used his voice for the song... Some sort of
weak control.... But his AnJing was a gd one.. Hah!
This smart alec reminded me of stuffs i would love to forget!
Bloody me! So yah.. taufik was da winner!
we shld hav known frm the sarcastic judge's remarks on Syl..

So yah, congrats dude..!
Love ur eyes.. Hhahaa

Kinda bored.. 2 days at hm?!
How bored juz it could be.. haha..
But yah, in SG even when i'm hm..
I smell freedom air... It'z diff frm Indo..
NOt tt i dun love my country, dun get me
wrong.. i love INdo.. It'z juz.. many things..
Unexplanable, unsaid stuffs...... Argh..!

Haha... okie...
Did kinda lotsa vector art.. Realisin tt lotsa ppl
are advancin infront of me.. The fear eloped..
Shit! Hahhaa...
Hav to buck up..

Touched my face juz now... It feels.....ROUGH!
I think itz becos i;m sleepin super late at nite,
doin my stuffs... & yah... w/o aircon... cos i dun like
the atmostphere of this hse if i'm sleepin alone..
Well, so yah... it'z covered with some form of
tiny lil pimples which makes me go nutz!

Okie.. so yah.. later i;m gonna go out,
hang out with my frens..
Oh ya, buy stuffs for lilie.. hahahhaa...
So poor thing that she cant hav
panadol mens in the States..

Itz been 4 days.. BUt stilll.... I dunno.....
Still feelin 'high'..This is crazy...
Hav to stop the 'high' feelin or i'm goin crazie soon..
Lalalaa~~~
Yah.. I'm crazie.. Help me~!

Knp mansuia ga bs relain aja?
Knp gw ngerasa kesel?
BUkannya kesel itu haunya ga da?
BUkannya dah janji jd biasa aja?
apa gara2 pikiran ngaco gw?
Apa gara2 kesdihan gw?

I juz analyse this super weird pattern of homo sapiens..
Which makin me doubt abt the sapienism deep within da brain..
Why is it we cant treasure the things we hav now,
things, ppl.... Family, friends etc.... Stuffs....
BUt when itz or they're gone.. then u start to realise..
how life is hard without em...
I did.. with my few frens..
& i dunno why....
NOw everythin keep one comin back to me..
The memories etc. hahaha

Aduh, koq jd sendu2 begini? Bukannya tambah nyantai,
jd tambah kebayang yg dulu.. h.. Payah nih Kat!
BUck up donk coi!!! Gmn seh loe?