Huhuhu.. Went to church late, pls blame Andry becos he called me frm Oz juz before i went into da toilet.. yah & he didnt let me put down da phone, now how cruel tt can be?!!!!@.@
Pst joshua's cool man, he's like.. tryin to interact with da congregation, but well, i guess he kinda fail on tt cos u know,we're kinda 'dead' lah... He preached stuffs & yah, whatever he said is true.. Its like, sounds like, he's preachin those words for me.. & I thank God for it, cos i know.. things dun go their way out of a sudden, it's all planned by Him above.. Huhuhu....


Believe in yourself, do not say negative things abt yourself, do not look down on urself

Well, I think this really struck me at da heart.. Few days ago, IZ & Bobby told me da same thing, & i guess yah.. I shld be listening to em.. Maybe God's tryin to tell me but i'm as deaf as dead ppl...

"Maybe you cant forgive yourself, maybe its somethin tt someone had done to you that make u feel unworthy.. But above all, believe in the God who had died for you 2000 years ago... "

Its' like.. welll.. yah..maybe i shld learn to forgive myself.. Stop talkin bad abt urself Kath! huhu

Honour your parents
Ya know, lotsa ppl here, includin me, may bear some grudge against their parents, for some stuffs that caused otsa misuderstandin etc.. But pls pray for em to understand u & u to understand em.. Forgive them & they forgive you.. Communicate more... Etc..

Churches of the world hav to walk the rite path
Well, lotsa churches in the world are goin against God's plan.. While some accepted gay bishops & homoism, some priests indulged themselves in young boys..,... If churches dont go teh way God wants them to go, then how could we bring out the light within us for the world to see? Same way with Christians...
Well, u cant tell the non-believer,"If you dun find Christ, u go to hell!" It's like, well, shuttin em off... U get what i mean? Rather than speech, show em in action

Osh..! Juz gt this enlightement on my head...
Yeah... While we saw those ppl who're leavin,
me & susan were tellin Doko, wlcomin him to the
club of those who will always watch ppl come & go
(yah, me & susan are some of those who're stuck in sg.. like,
we signed a contract bond with da govt whad)..
Then we were atlkin abt it...
Until da time when i changed my nick on msn, it suddenly hit me
tt those who leave will not feel the same pain as those who
was left.... U gettit? As in, to leave, u'll enter a new world, it's like
a new journey awaits u.... Although ur memories will cause u to feel
a sense of loss within, but u hav to move forward...
BUt think sbt those who're left... Its' like... u watch ppl come, u watched
em grow, u watched em do stuffs, enjoy life with u, sharin happy moments
together... & Zoom they hav to left, & they left u...
Its like.. for me.. to be in da farewell, seein ppl whom i loved dearly go to other
parts of the world... it's like... losing some part of me.. Scaree isnt it?

What struck me da most is tt, yah... well.. i guess everyone thought abt
suicide before rite? Its like.. well.. although some might say, "nono, tts for loserz"
buut deep down, u might think of performing one..
Well, guys, for ur info, dun go & say, "aw, Kath supports suicide..!" haha, i DON'T!
K, hahaha.. U see, the msg is clear, it sounded like the same..
U might be leavin da world for goodness sake, being 'freed' frm all the
burden u might hav at tt time.. but think abt those whom u hav left...
Like ur parents, siblings, loved ones etc... The pain & the sadness of being left
be someone u loved dearly is too painful.. So, why giv urself a chance to
hurt those u loved? Hhehehehee

Yay..~ HIkz....
Today we had the youth farewell.... It was arnd 6 30
& ended arnd 12 30.... What a 6 hr! Hahaha.......

Yah, basically, some praise & worship, preachin frm Pst
(i forgt what his name is.. BUt he's an indian singaporean
tt's based on Oz now..).. He was sayin abt how life is so short,
& we wanna giv da best to da Lord... So why risk a chance?
Live ur life to da fullest, carry your steps carefully in every path of
your way....

Aft tt, comes the Lenong frm those who're leavin.... Then the gift
frm the leaving... Aw so sweet! It was a ring... with "history makers"
engraved on its inside... Mia said tt it was made in this way so
this history makers pledged will last forever in our heart, juz like how
the names of a couple is engraved inside the engagement rings...
I think i shld get a tattoo on "Jesus" then... Cos this is one of the way how I
could ensure myself never to go stray frm Him....

Then, aft those "HIkz Hikz" lotsa tears & hugs.. (Mawan & Doko even cried..
Aw.. this showed our Youth is really havin a super strong bond)... The youth
performed some "lenong" for us.. Indra the "teroris gendeng" aka Jihad man
acted as a disturbed primary sch teacher who'll cry while singin da national
anthem, & carried guns wherever he go.. Hahhaa, bullied students in cls & yah..
Lotsa funny stuffs lah.. Cant stop laughin.....
Pat2 acted as a gurl in Indra's cls, who later become someone convicted to death..
But in the end, the best friend took her place as the accused & died for her sin...
U get whad i mean? Best friend <-> symbolises Jesus, & yeah.. our best friends,
or our families...

It's like.. How awesome it is to die for someone you love, as in.. not tt
"i love u gurl, i luv u boi" love, get whad i mean? Yah, when i was younger
(maybe until now), i used to imagine tt i would die young for someone i love..
Hhaa, usually, i'll be thinkin of either my mom, my bro or 'the guy' Hahaha..
I even gt like.. a few dreams whereby i had died for em, like shelter them
frm some freak accidents or gettin killed by some freak while protectin em..
Aw.. sounds so gross but believe me... I dreamnt of feelin da pain frm the
knife being struck at my stomach (while protectin my bro in my dream) or
the bullets on my body (while protectin the guy). hahaha.. what the....

I am lame, dont i? & stubborn... But i dun care, this is my life...

Haha..
Pst said somethin abt 'walkin with God'... If you are constantly walkin with
God, knowin what He wants in your life & let Him use u to the fullest,
then u'll never go wrong....... like, you hav to hav a daily conversation with God..
tried to talk more to Him.. so u'll know what is expected...
yah.. sounds da same for hwo u built ur reationship with ppl around u..

Wow weee..! I'm counting my blessins everyday...
He who gave me all this really knows how to spice up my life..
Thank You God for all da effort Ya made, to always
surprise me with me stuffs around... New gifts around &
new fiction-like situation whereby i can laugh myself out
when i remembered of em...

Recently, foud out abt all the enw trends of havin this
deviantart acc.. Yah, i had one, juz created it last nite...
The link is http://kathkucing.deviantart.com
Huhuhuhu.... Its kinda exciting hwo you could see everythin,
every stuffs tt can make ur heart race its pace cos there're juz
so..... AW!!!!!!! Huehueheue...

Well.. Today marks de farewell of IFGF Singapore Youth 2004...
Cant believe it was this fast,a s in.. I could still remember wearin
some army-themed TShirt for last yer's... Da feelin of our
hands bein bound together for da farewell survival game... Da tears &
such.... I cant believe tonite we'll shed some tears, sayin gdbye to
lotsa ppl, lotsa ppl tt kinda change my life in a way or another...

List of those who will leave:
* Olivia (Melb)
* Nila (Melb)
* Armando (USA)
* Ingrid (USA)
* Yesisca (NZ)
* Deddy (USA)
* Ucup (Melb)
* Hermawan (Seattle)
* Yohannes (Melb)
* Michelle (Seattle) etc...

Its like.. i felt everythin was juz yesterday.... It's like, i'v juz known em,
i'v juz hang out with em...Time flies juz too fast...

------------------------------------------------
Clock ticked so fast
Another year had passed
Yet we known we're bounded
By love, friendship and Passion
Let this not be goodbye
But another chapter of our lives

~Anonymous~

Hehehe...*_*
Juz went back frm Irene's bday...
I knew her frm the fashion show event...
She was frm the twin's sec sch & yah.. she's a great human..
Love her & her fam.. It's like.. they're sooo warm & friendly..
The party itself wasnt so grand or anythin but yah, i really
enjoyed eatin da food.. Slrp..!
I wore this bloody freakin flowery pottery erm.. whadaya call tt,
tube dress + shawl + sandal.. Hahaha, & i'm freakin uncomfortable
cos it kept on gettin down. bloody clothes. haha, but aniwae, yah..
I guess it really changed my appearance frm da normal violence Kath
into some woman Kath.. Hahhaa....

Lookin at the bond between da Twinz & their sec sch frnds, i'm kinda
reminded of my sec sch frnds as well, well.. NI men zhai nar ne?
Hahahhaaa

Okay... i guess i wrote too meany stuffs here... As i promised, i deleted those stuffs & yah.. juz left some info here..
I'll be back to Jakarta on 4th, takin Thai.
Will be back in sg arnd 20th or so....
Anyone need some stuffs, i may not promised u anythin,
but pls approach me & i'll try my best to get em for ye..
well, anyone who read my previous entry, pls.. juz SHHH...
Anyone who dun, nvm.. haha, not a big matter anyway...

Berhenti berharap
bySheila On 7

Aku tak percaya lagi
Dengan apa yang kau beri
Aku terdampar disini
Tersudut menunggu mati

Aku tak percaya lagi
Akan guna matahari
Yang dulu mampu terangi
Sudut gelap hati ini

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat

Tak ada cinta kudapat
Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan

Aku pulang..
Tanpa dendam..
Kuterima kekalahanku
Aku pulang..
Tanpa dendam..
Kusalutkan kemenanganmu

Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukkan aku derita
Kau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita
[ rebahkan rambutmu
lepaskan perlahan
kau akan mengerti semua.. ]

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

haha, suddenly i remembered this song. haha, the chorus part really disturbed my mind & i cant refrain myself frm singin it over & over again. ask Ing2, she's been sick of it.. hahaha.. Maafkan daku kekasih, gw emag elo. hahahaaaa.a.a. Canda2.. hahaha

Haiyah..... Ternyata oh ternyata... Kenyataan udah terungkap & gw dah tau knp skrg. Jadi gw ngerti & gw harap my mind can compromise to think the same way as what i wanted it to think.
Gw sih sebenernya udah ngeprediksi apa reaksi dia ttg gw sejak hari minggu itu, tapi yah.... apa boleh dikata, ternyata ga meleset sedikitpun. Hahahhaa....

Kalo boleh jujur, sakit juga sih hati ini, ternyata ngulang lagi ceritanya, tapi gw sih dun mind, dah 17 taon status gw ini2 aja, gw dun mind kalo gw remain gini2 aja beberapa taon lagi. Mungkin emang blom siap kali yah gw, mungkin TUhan mao bilang ke gw kalo ini bukan waktunya, ini bukan orangnya & ini bukan apa yg Dia mao dr gw.

Yay! Wohoooohooohooooo...~!
It's been a great nite in da chalet, we're like some
music outting, with lotsa guitar tunes & ppl singing
every now & then. It was cool yah, i love da chalet
very much.

Hahaa, 1st nite, we had some BBQ stuffs, then walk
along da beach at nite. The guys were juz crazee enough
to bring along da guitars & sing along in da rain. Aniwae,
there was this couple sitting at the site, & our dudes juz
sang some love songs for em. Ihhahahaaha...
It was soooo sweet of em. Hahahaa....
I guess we were back frm the beach arnd 3, then i slept,
while most of em were crazyin around tt nite, playin XboX
like there's no tommorow.

2nd nite, we had a BBQ as well, cos da leftover were like,
piles of em... Then we celebrated GQ's super-early birthday...
Itw as still 2 weeks down da road lah. hahaha... BUt aniwae,
thx to sista, the cake was superbbbb, deliciouzzz urm, yummy2..
Then as usual, went to beach again, stroll & then sit around, singin
& hiding frm the rain. haha. Then, played in da playground...
Went back to da chalet & then slept.. Haha.. Ow, we played badminton
in da evening, abt 2... It was cool, Glenn was freakin good at it, it's like,
well, maybe i'm da one lousy lah... BUt he can juz stand there, with
minimized movement, while i'm like kinda dying, running here & there to
prevent da shuttlecock frm fallin down. Bloody good!

Yah, thx to Sista & Beatrice, for he management & the organizing. Hoho...
Thx to chicken chop uncle aka XJ & Max, u guys done a gd job...
Thx to Jared for the mushy2 lullaby songs, hahaha...
Thx to GQ for the guitar tunes, & the shoulder &
the 5x-bigger-than-my-size T Shirt. Sayank u my bro..!
Thx to Martin for the guitar tunes
Thx to Glenn for the guitar tunes & the 'peace' sign Haha..
Thx to everyone, cos my hands are tired now. Hahaa.... Let em rest yah...

Skrg, buat finale dr entry gw hari ini....
Gw mao nangis, mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shldnt hav do lotsa stuffs,
but i'v done it aniwae. Betapa gobloknya satu manusia kalo dia lagi
seneng bgt, itu tuh bener2 suatu kesalahan yg ga bs dimaafin...
Sial2..! Sial2!!!!
Knp gw bisikin tmn gw kalo gw seneng dia jd nginep, sial..! Trus ada yg
dgr & make a fuss out of it, dia nengok & like, bloody hell!.!
Trus jd waktu mao ke pantai, dia pun ga jadi ikut, dgn berbagai macam
alasan.. Gw jd merasa bersalah bgt krn kyknya dia ga mao pegi bareng ma gw
& gw rasa dgn adanya gw di sono, gw jd ngerampas kesenengan dia. Haha..
apa coba?
OK lah, ga mao ngmg byk2 ttg ini. Nanti ngerusak suasana diriku. hahaha....
Pokonya, hav faith in God.. Whatever He plans, its da best for everyone. ..

Heheeeeeehehehe....
Countin down on da chalet tmr.. Khihihihi....
Watched Jeannete Aw today on da TV, aw.. she's soooo nice,
pretty & cool... Hahaha.... Well, yah, hav a great time watchin that
swimmin tv series "the champion"....
I guess Toro looks nicer with his old (1st appearance) hair style..

Doin nothin much...

Kayaknya gw udah intoxicated sama dia, dan gw tau itu salah.
Intoxicated sama sesuatu yang ga jelas itu bad, very2 bad...
Ngasih harapan palsu, ngasih impian semata...
Makanya, Lord God, i really2 need your wisdom,
buat control diriku, buat clear up my mind...
Buat menjelikan mata buta gw. Oke?

Hey ya~
Did nothin in exact... Tryin to launch my web but to no avail..
Gt this Justin Timbalake's abt Cry me a river, whad a stupid song..
Hahaa... it's comin out frm the guardian's daughter's rm.. hahaa..

Then.. Yah, chattin to Alex, Herman, Bobby, Franky, Rudy, IZ,
Riana my cuz, GQ, Jilly, etc...
Smsin with Weishan, Andry (in Sydney)...
Tts it lah. Hahaa,...

Hahaha... At last, broadband on my way... Yeah ppl!
lazy to write now. Read the follo up later k/?

Hey ya~ Today's kinda a blessin day for me...
Well, wake up at 8 30 this morning, went to church,
ate with Oliv then to Far East with the gurls for punk
dresscode hunting...Met my aunt & her husband & the kid.
Aw...How i love Mandy!!!!!

Hahahaha....

Today's sermon was brought to us by a Pst
frm GISI Jakarta, Pst Daniel somethin2-Wene..
------------------------------------------------
Choices--How we make a difference frm the world
I choose love (kasih), because God is love
I choose patience
I choose forgiveness
I choose peace
I choose joy
etc..

Well, for the "i choose Joy" part, he said somethin
abt our definition of the source of joy.We should never let
things that happen in the world to take away our joy, as the
joy that we hav in us comes frm the holy spirit, given by the
Father & not the world.Since the joy in us is not originated
frm the world, the world has not power to rob away the joy in me. Rite?
So folks, no matter what happen to u, try to think it this way,
as this is true, so u wont feel bitter etc.. Well,at least u hav joy in u duh!

A bit of my reflection here...

Yah, i feel kinda struck by tt "I choose joy" part.
Ya know,i'v always been affected by lotsa stuffs around me,
tts why u seeme writing lotsa nonsense sometimes in my blog.
It really reflected my feelins (usually) at tt spur time..
I think i shld really apply everythin frm the sermon in my life,
i guessit'll mature me.

"Always see problems as challenges to build ur faith, not as a curse to
strike you down the road of life..."

Aw.. How i loveeee Mandy my cousin...
She's juz 2 yers old & she hav those great taste of clothin..
Everytime her nanny chooses the pair of clothing, she will rebuke her
by choosing another better pair of clothes. Hahaha..,
What a kid...! & she loves me no less. Yeah, i'm gonna mizz her siah....=p

IFGF GISI Singapore Youth Fareewell Party 2004: 30/10/2004...
Dresscode: Punk

What siah? Punk? Cool but.. Hahahhaa.... I cant believe it,
another farewellin my life... Aw... LOtsa ppl like Armando, Hermawan, Ingrid, Olivia, Nila,MIchelle etc.. HIkz.. U guys are goin off next yer... How i hate farewell...
BUt aniwae, come to think of it again, without farewell, there will never be a"hello",
u get what i mean?

Maybe i'm juz buildin a comfort zone for myself, maybe i'm scared of the future,
the world, the uncertainties that may come...
Ah,whatever....Aniwae, rely myself on God & He will help me somehow..
Yah?! Hehehe...

My skin is peelin now.. I guess the effect frm the alcohol is too strong, but i love
the sound of the skin being peeled off frm my body.. haha, sounds like
u peel those onion's dead skin.. So....... Aw..! Hahahaha, doesnt feel hurt lah..

Hahaz~ Did my job juz now...
Oh how i love Tini, Ethel, Hana, Nat U, Sunny & Kazumi...
Hahaa.. Yah, today no Iuri & GUido.. Hikz, but its ok,
i took a photo with Jean Carlo (i guess thats his name..)
Haha.. & i'm kindA inspired to get a black Liquid mascara.. Hohoho..

Oh, took a photo with with Melina Looi, but forgot to take one with
Frederick Lee. Hahaha.. Yah, those are all big designers.. Wow wee

Hm.... Tmr my aunt will come frm indo, i wonder if my momma send me
some comics etc. .Hohoho... Argh.. Missin comic already...
Missin my Crystal dragon (by Yuuho Ashibe).. How i love my ever-cold Glivis

Aniwae... Nothin new abt today. Its juz one of the spicy day of mine..
On ething for sure... I LOVE U LORD...!
You'v provided me with jobs & all that, & love & caring frm all my gurls
wherever they are. I shall be grateful for all those stuffs....
I'm blessed with all the stuffs I hav & if i'm in bloody probs,
i know that i can always count on You, Lord God...
I can always turn to You & find peace in You...

Peace & yah.. Ciao..!

Huah..~ Wake up so early today...
This had been sme kind of sleep tt i'v long nv gotten myself into,
the sleep that is not so peace, that can make me wake up this early..

Now: finding Ministry ofEducation's stuffs for my bro. Hehe...

Last nite was being questioned by my dad abt how my bro ended up
havin only $5 for the week's food..
I dun even know, all i know he was paying for the shared-int bill ...
Yah, next time, pls make a separate account for him.
He's old enough to get that yah!

Semalem gw marah2, bete2, okay, gw akuin itu salah gw. I shldnt do tt..
As in, terserah dia mao ngmg apa nggak sama gw,
dia kan punya hak untuk ngelakuin ini smua. Itu idupnya & gw hav
no rights or whatsoever to interfere or whatsoever...
Skrg gw ngerasa gw ga kenal lagi sama dia, gw ga ngerti jalan pikirannya.
Gw semakin jaoh drnya.. Tp, mungkin dia tau jd dia bikin jarak.
Emang huo kai, mungkin gw tralu kliatan...
Mungkin dia takut, mungkin dia ngerasa rese.. Hahahaaha....
Yah udah, gw ga mao ambil pusink..
Palink2 smuanya ngulang lagi.. Udah biasa lah. hahahahaa..
Gitu deh...

Guys, i'm really sorry that i cant write all these in english, for the fear of
some dispute & other unwanted stuffs sfrm happening.
If u guys really keen on knowing all these, find me.. haha..
Maybe i'll tell u....

Again, maybe not....

It depends on my mood, my trust, my mind, my brain & my heart...

Aniwae, feel a sudden 'kangen' to:
* Riana Hermawati (hiks.. kangen2, got lotsa stuffs happening gurl..)
* Riana my cousin ( Gmn Oz? Jd tiba2 kangen ma elo..)
* Jilly ( Gmn tuh sama si Venezuelan? Hahaha... Gw mao dgr ceritanya..)
* Sherly (Wah, loe gmn kabarnya? Msh surviving? Abis ini mao skul mana?)
* Jokko (Bang, loe exam kpn sls? Abis itu gw rasa kita perlu hang out bareng )
* Corina ( My dear cewek, when r we gonna hang out together? Huhuhuu..)
* Bryan (dd gw, ni hao ma? Gmn kabar loe?)
* Lilie (Lie, gmn kabar loe? Its' been a while since gw trakhir ngmg ma elo,
I hope u're fine down in Seattle.. Haha.. Bersama dgn mobil barumu.. Hahaha)

Yah, i guess this is the few somes..... Wonderin whad happens to me this morning?
How can i feel so nostalgic today?
Aw.. Forgot to write this down.. Yesterday, while i was takin bus 854, it took me across the upper serangoon road, to tt bus stop that Agnes usually will take her 25 home... Then, suddenly, the feelin of studyin in HIHS cameback to me.. Well, it was kinda a pleasant memory, but yah.. Just feel anxious of what to do if i go back there. Aniwae.. NO matter how strong the feelin is, the sch's not there anymore...

SEmuanya cuman tinggal kenangan. Gw tiba2 ngerasa gw balik lg ke sec 4, mao skul.. Trus mikir, "bsk ketemu dia org mao gimana yah baenya?" Apa gw bakalan dicuekin kyk dulu lagi? Apa gw bakalan bete2.... Tapi one thing i know, smuanya cuman memory, klas gw yg dah digambar2 sama smua murid, yg banyak gambaran gw, yg heboh bgt. Yg gurunya gelo2, yg suka dikerjain murid2nya, yg palink tinggi plg cape kl mao naik..... Smuanya cuman tinggal kenangan...

Argh....! the sch results out yet!!!!!
lemme see... Aft all my hardwork..

DIM1301 Visual Literacy 3 A
DIM1302 Storytelling 3 C+
DIM1305 Audio Essentials 3 B
DIM1306 Basic Video 3 C
DIM1307 Multimedia Fundamentals 3 B+
DPS1001 Culture & Expression 3 C
DVC1505 Drawing Fundamentals 3 C+
GCD1001 Applied Principles for Effective Living 1 1 Pass

Yah, kinda happy & pissed....
I mean, well, did work hard for stote & drfun, but what the heck with
the results siah? Hahahaha... The joyful stuff is.... yah.... i passed! hohho..
Thank You Lord!

Yah, juz now gt some job, quite fun yah...

Bener deh gw.. gw ngerasa kalo dia tuh lg pissed off bgt ma gw.
Ga tau knp, td gw ngmg ma dia di msn, tp responnya kyk ga niat ngmg,
pengen cepet2 ngusir gw.. aniwae, maybe i deserve this,
maybe i shld berhenti berharap, maybe i shld juz forget all this...
Gw jg dah mls. Pokonya, jgn harap gw bakalan manggil loe or whatsoever..
Terserah elo. Gw dah doen my part, gw dah kasih loe smua perhatian yg
bs gw kasih, kalo emang elo merasa gw cuman buat dijadiin tmn biasa donk,
yah wes, gw jg bakalan berusaha buat jdiin elo tmn biasa doank...

Kumelangkah di jalan yang salah..
Kulari ke sana ke sini...
Tak urung kaupun merasa ku yah bodoh...
Kuharap sesuatu yang tak memungkinkan..
Kuroboh...
Kulari...
Kucoba tuk tinggalkan bayangmu...

Rese, Rese, Rese!!!!!!
argh.. SHUDDUP!! SHUDDUP!!!
Diam otak gw, diem!!!!

Today is aother day.. Went to cut my hair.. Hehe...
Now i gt fringe yah.. Aniawae... tmr goin for some job..
Thank God for always providing me with jobs... Cos without Him,
i dun think I'll be able to live in this world..(precisely..!)

The coolest thing He ever did in my life today was to help me
through my fasting of 23 hours! Can u believe how great He is?
It's like.. if u think over it again.. u might not think i might be able to
do it.. but yah.. through Him, in Him & by His greatness.. He will
always cover you in His protection. Yah?! Believe me k? Heheee

Aniwae.. went to PK with WeiShan, Mud, Max, GQ, Kiwi, Swartzh, Joel.
It's sooo cool to see em improvin.. while i cant even do a vault today!
The carparks are damn too high for me to do it lah... And yah.. got lotsa
rewards of bruises everywhere around my legs.. WOW! it's soooooo nice
to touch.. Hahaha...
Then play in the playground.. haha, at least.. (shy2..) i can do valut at tt bloody
game which turns u upside down in circular way.. dunno what the heck is tt...
Hahahaa...

Okay.. here comes my indo section....
Td tmn gw ngmg soal dia tuh bener2 penyeneng hati org laen. gw jd kepikiran soal itu, as in, well, kl diliat2 lagi, dia tuh slalu nyamperin gw kl lg sepi.. Tp td ga sama skali, well, minimum lah. Td dia lbh sering nyamperin tmn gw itu drpd gw.. Trus dieeem bgt, like, bener2 ga niat ngmg ma gw kali. Apa mungkin dia udah tau? Semoga dia blom, or at least, kl udah tau.. semoga kita ga jaoh or whatever it is..

Yah, gw ga tau lah, ini bkn di atas rancangan gw, whatever it is, Tuhan tau segalanya. Biar Dia yg ngurus smuenya... Smua akan jadi indah pada waktunya amen? Kalo nggak yah, berarti dia bukan milik gw.. & ga bakalan jd milik gw seberapapun gw coba..
-----------------------------------------------
Apa yang kau cari,
Apa yang kau harapkan?

Kau yang tersesat,
Kau yang berharap,
Kau yang terluka,
Kau yang tersiksa,
Kau yang melaju,
Kau yang mengaku kehilangan dirimu sejati,

Tlah kucoba tuk tawarkan,
Cinta yang mungkin akan sembuhkan hati itu...
Masihkah kau lihat bunga dulumu,
Masihkah kau harapkan dekapannya?

Kutak pasti kan masa depan,
Perbedaan jelas terlukiskan..
Tapi semua bisa diatasi,
Jika kita berusaha...

Ataukah kau merasa
Aku ini hanyalah teman sejati..
Bukan seseorang
Yang sepandan denganmu,
Sehati denganmu,
Bukan manusia yang tepat...

Ku tak banyak berharap..
Persahabatan akan menentukan
cerita dari kita berdua...
Apakah kita akan begini, atau begitu..
Hanya Tuhan yang tahu...
Apapun yang kulakukan,
Jika itu bukanlah kehendakNya, akan sia2..

Tlah kulakukan bagianku..
Jika adanya tanda2 di hati...
Terserah dirinya...
Yang kujanjikan,
Hari ini, hati ini untuknya..
Hari esok... Tak da yang tahu akan hari esok..

-------------------------------------------------------------

Yah hahaha..
this is my 2nd entry for todae... Hm.. yah..
Watch 'the champion' a new series frm ch8
tt hav a series of 'wow wee' ppl in it..
ppl like Jeannete Aw (i loveeeee her), Toro,
the guy who played his bro in snow angel, fiona xie etc..
Yah, i saw this guy who played as Jeanette aw's bro..
He' s sooo pretty.. I'm jealous.. Haha,, he's frm mainland i guess..
Judging frm the accent..
aniwae.. nothin ne.. Back ache siah, but hack care.,..
Pk is Pk! no compromise to it..
Hahha.. Yah...

Yah, tryin to do the 2nd webbie, which is, shld be, more presentable,
but aniwae..... I dunno. I can get the words on top of the picture i inserted..
Damn...
Aniwae.. now i'm placing 2 choices of song.. Its either Lina's song,
which i guess IMD ppl are tired of it already.. (ask em, when i'm in the comlab).
& DC Talk_jesus is just alreite.. Hhahaa This is cool..
Lookin forward into postin it.. Hahhaa

Well... These 2 days not workin...Feelin soo free but peniless.. haha..
Aniwae, juz went to accompany my bro to McP for the entrance test..
got so bored so i msg lotsa people.. Haha.. Yah...& sleepy too.. T.T

Aniwae, aft tt, i went to orchard to lend Jessica my indo version W Juliet..
then, resuming my old indulge in clothes-tryin session.. Hahahaha...
Yah, i tried quite a lot & took a few pix with my phones,
one of the lamest thing i did these few years...

Aniwae... Tmr wanna go cut my hair..Hopefully the results' as okay as what i want..
& yah... PKing!OMG, i mizz PKing!...

Aniwae, tryin hard not to think abt tt homosapien again..
Cos really, this has been disturbing me for the past few weeks..
Once i didnt get to see 'dia', i'll tried my bestto communicate with 'dia',
which leads to my sense of lameness.. etc.. blah blah blah....
Oh God, pls.. juz help me to control my brain, my thought,etc.. I'm kinda feel weird..
As in, sometimes the starhub signal is on & off, i dunno what to believe in,
what to do & what to expect..

Kalo memang bener, tunjukkin kalo itu bener, kalo memang bukan, tunjukkin kalo itu bukan. Kalo nggak ketemu, malahan gwyg mikir kebanyakan.. Jadi manusia itu susah yah..

Signing off,
Kath
Seletar Hill POW

HUah~ today i;m free at last..
Spendin my time at home today..
Wake up at 10, ate at 12 (my new hawker's kinda nice)
tryin to do my webbie stuffs...
Ate stuffs at 6... now doin my blog updates etc..
Hahahaha...
Okie.. Loggin off now..
HIkz.. i miz u Rin, Ji, etc...
& anak itu jg. Hahaha...

"Crash And Burn" by Savage Garden

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you callIf you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Yah, i'm tellin u ppl, pls dun be shy to me. Whatevr things u might wanna
shae with me or what-so-ever, juz do so if u're comfortable with it..
This song kinda sounds like a promise to u, but actually, yah..
I cant promise u stuffs. God can..
When u think again abt who sang this song, as in... yah,
the way the lyric was written, it really sounds like God's speakin in da hse yeah?

Hm.... Okay.... I guess this is it.. It's spiritual warfare in da air..
1) Erica's dad's sick
2) Cong's cousin's in his worst condition....
3) I'm gettin myself into this stupid probs of mine
4) Some stuffs within the church kinda rot my mind
5) Temptation to makan is so strong.. Haha.. now my stomach's singin (pls shuddup)
6) My sick ego kinda disturbin me

Prayer (since i think typin is much faster than writing it down):
God, You're the mighty one, do not lead me into temptation,
deliver me frm all sin & show me Your will & plan.
Let it be always Your will be done & not mine, for human
do not know of what to expect for tommorow, but You had
crafted days aft days for us, preparing new stuffs, challanges & wisdom
to be gained. You know what's the best for us & Lord, whatever Your
wish is, let it be in our lives.
Lord, pls listen to our prayer, grant health & healing to both Cong's cousin
& Erica's dad. You know how inmpt these people for both Cong & Rica.
As You had promised us, "ask & it will be given", now is the time where we asked
for Your mercy. Let every bound of sickness & curse be lifted frm their lives, in Jesus'
name, as You reigned over those stuffs when You died on the cross 2000 years ago..
Amen..

Haha.. This is how lame i am.. But seriously, everythin tts above came out frm my heart,
Believe me & I believe in you. hahaha.. What de.. but nvm.. I;m crappin..
Yah, cos nothin to talk abt.
Ow.. juz now.. i went out with Weishan, GQ, Max, XJ, Freddy, WeiFang...
to book chalet, eat McD & so on.. Haha.. Ow, play pool too.
Now i know, i can play pool w/o bringin out the whole zoo when things get so
tensed up. haha. Thank God for it.. Amen?! yeah..!

IFGF Singapore journal of the day:

Aim of fasting: Read Isaiah 58
Ezrah8:21

There are a few aim of fasting according to the bible:
#in memorial of someone's death or some tragedies
This is one of the reaction in responding some bad news or tragedy, eg: Nehemia receiving the fate of Jerusalem (read Nehemia1:4)

#Bow down before God
This is done when we want to surrender ourselves before God, to state how in need we are of Him (Read Ezrah8:21; 1kings21:27-29) Sometimes in our life, we're experiencing difficulties & situation that is beyond our control, that is the best time for us to bow down before Him in prayer & fast for him to intervene & help our life.

#To purify/ prepare someone for something
This type of fast is usually done to prepare someone before doing something spiritually or expecting something supernatural to happens in their life (Yud20:26ff) This type of fasting is a normal thing to be done in God's people's life.

Fasting is also done in times of Crisis to express our repentance (yun3:5;Yoel2:12), Self control (1 Cor9:27), to Strenghten prayer (Ezr8:23) & to Find out abt God's will (Judges20:26-28; Ap14:23)

Aniwae, (last part), these are some practical ways tt u can do if u wanna learn on how to fast:
1) try slowly; fast for 8 hours, then 24 hours & so on
2) do a systematic fasting, dun fast for such a looong time & never fast again at the other time
3) If you fast for more than a day, do not forget to drink adequately
4) Break your fast slowly, dun just becos you're free frm fasting, feelin hungry then eats like hell
5) Do not, by all means, attracting people's attention or slept ur way through while waitin for the
breaking of fast

Get tt clear? Haha... Aniwae, yah, we're fastin frm 4 oct to 14 nov, but well, since i juz found out abt it today, then i'll be startin it frm mon, 18/10 to 18/11... Yah.. Basically dinner & breakfast... Yah, God will hear our prayers dude! Believe in Him & He will do miracles for us..
Support the church's prayer request.. & yah, most importantly, to ask for HIs direction & will in our lives. K guys?
GBU & Peace!

(Buat ji, skali lg, hahua, selamat jadian., hahahahaha)

Hahahaa.... I gt money on hand now.. Yah, not much lah..
Then.... my shoppin list:
*buy watch for momma *****Very impt*****
*buy shoes for my bro
*buy GQ's dday present
*pay for chalet
*buy Jessica's bday present
*buy my bro's bday present
*buy albert Tp bday present
*but weishan's bday present..

Alamak.. i sounded like momma already.. hahaha...
Buyin groceries for my kids.. What the.. Aniwae, i enjoy it,
as long as my economy allows me, i dun mind spendin money..
As in.. i dunno.. i get satisfaction by givin to ppl.
waitin for my pay frm Robinson.. Hahha...

gR()uP d4~~Your always have goals to achieve
and you can do everything to fulfill the dreams
of those who loves you. You have a sketch of an
ideal in your mind and you always search for
that personality. Your friends means a lot to you
and you can do everything for the sake
of your friend,you a normally found to be an emotional
personality. You have a very less control on
your patience and due to this sometimes you over
react..


Is tt true ppl? Haha.. I let u guys decide & comment...

Hahhaa... today i was doin my dresser job again..
It's Donna Karan's collection. I loveee it so much. Haha..
Well, people who was in their puasa mode, how's the puasa
goin today? Can u guys bear the temptation of food? Hahaha..

Didn't go to the last pukat of this year, yah.. But Sunday i'm sure
to go sunday service... Seriously, I love U God... It will never ever change
forever & ever. You're my 1st love ever,
well... 2nd is my youngest bro & my mom..
3rd should be my dad, bro, granparents etc...
'tt' guy? Hahaha... He's somewhere around my list too, kind of included
in the top 3, but not sure where to put.... Hahaha.. Aniwae, i'm kerazee now..

Cinta dalah anugerah dari Tuhan.
Mencintai adalah perasaan paling indah sedunia,
Tetapi dicintai adalah kebahagiaan terbesar yang terindah...
Tak apa jika kau mencintai seseorang yang tak mengharapkanmu..
Tetapi jika kau dicintai olehnya, itulah makna hidup yang sejati..
Untuk mencintai dan dicintai..

Oh i am soo crappy tonite.. Aniwae.. yah,
kala cinta emnggoda, tak da yg dpt mengahalangi..
Tapi gw ga yakin dia mao gw... Ga tau yah...
Lord pls juz let Your will be done...

Watched Resident Evil 2 juz now with Mazmur.. Hahha.. Yah, like what he said, kiinda not worth it.. Esp when i didnt even watched the 1st one.. What a stupid way to do.. Hhaahhaa...
Aniwae, for those who are gonna go for puasa tmr, hahaha, happy berpuasa, try to overcome ur desire.. hahaha...

Wait2... i think we're goin to start pur puasa for the nation too rite? Yah... i think so... Hav to check with my church ppl.. Hahaha.. (old ageing me....)

I was checkin out at frenster juz now. Hahaha... Yah, it's kinda fun... Wih Evelyn (Mari Fransiska) kept on feeding me with lotsa refreshin stuffs. Hahhaa, the koko genk & stuffs like kutu-haired Julius & so forth.. Hahaha.. Gila yah, he picked kutu frm his hair, livin kutu, then place it on a book & slammed the book closed, sqeezing the kutu to death... Haha, juz how cruel human can be...

Aniwae... this one.. I cant write it in English.. Hahahaa... Gw rasa udah waktunya gw untuk ngelihat kembali apa semua tanda2, signal2, gerak gerik & tutur kata (koq gw jd puitis gini? William Shakespeare, what hav u done in me? Hahaha) dari dia ke gw... Gw rasa gw berharap tralu banyak, gw imagine stuffs yg cuman ilusi semata. Kalo ga, dia ga bakalan nulis kayak gitu di kolom "who do I want to meet" di frenster... Apa itu betul? Bohongan ato cuman khayalan semata? Hahahahaa... Gw udah gila, bener2 gila...
Kadang2, mungkin emang dia deket sama gw karena gw anaknya open, tapi gw ga tau apa betul maksutnya begitu? Apa gw ga bs menyembuhkan jiwa elo? Yah, tapi emang terserah dia lah, gw mah apa jg boleh. Kaloe mang ga bs untuk jalan ke arah sono, jd tmn pun gw udah cukup, soalnya dia anaknya asik abis, jd kalo misalnya gw (like what others hav been urgin me to do) ngaku ke dia, mungkin things will never be the same again.. Mungkin kita bakal jaoh or whatever it is.. yg penting persahabatan ini gw jaga... Krn gw ga mao kehilangan tmn kyk dia

Hm.. mungkin juga yah... Lewat testi dia buat gw, yg last sentencenya, "semoga persahabatan kita bs langgeng.." itu maksutnya ini kali yah...(refer to the above indo language stuffs..) Ah payah..........!
Dun think too much... My brain, pls shuddup, shuddup, shuddup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha... HFC (my dearest dunno-what-the-heck-with-the-name Hentai Fans Club) is gonnna havin our 1st BBQ & Chalet... Yehaa man!
Aniwae, last nite was my TP Indo Union BBQ @ East Coast.. Those who missed it, too bad for u, we're really2 havin fun, well.. besides seeing Freddy almost fainted.. or wahetver it is,...(true yah, i'm not jokin!)...
There're 17 ppl altogether.... wait, lemme count....There're kath, frida, esther, san2, taufan, bobby, herman, angela, agustina, budi, freddy, cong, franky, mellisa, mori, ah... i forgot the names.. alamak... hikz.. i'm ageing siah.. Okay.. nvm, lets juz change topis.. (aniwae, if i remember, i'll write the follow up k.. Dun get mad at me guys...)

Enjoyin myself these few days.. Jobs are comin again.. Hohoho... Thank God, U're my provider, my strength, my Savior & my power! Btw, aniwaone has this SonicFlood CD or Cassette tt u dun wan animore, the one with a purplish drwoning man cover.. I seriously want it!
I lost my tt cassette & i'm hunting for it now.. Aniwae, yah... Lend me, i dun mind.. as long as i can listen to their songs again.. Hahahhaa.,....

Gonna do my webbie soon.. As soon as i get really2 free time to concentrate on one... Hahaha....
Well.. Maybe i do simple2 one, but i dunno... Argh.. This freakin MSN juz dun wan to be signed in.. What the heck is happenin? Oh no!!!!!!
Hahhaaa...

Hahaha... Overworked my feet today.. Hopefully they dun
die tmr.. Hahhaa.. Aniwae,seriously, if u chopped off my foot now,
i dun think i'll feel anythin. Cos it's numbbbbbbbbbb.. Pain....Akh...!

Aniwae... hari ini tak da yg terjadi, walaupun gw kangen ma dia...
Td gw sempet kepikiran kl gw mao telp dia & blg, " gw bener2 butuh bahu elo,
krn saking capenya, tp abis itu gw pikir2 lagi... Ngapain coba? Malahan bakalan
freak ppl out.. Pokonya minta Tuhan wisdom Dia aja.. Hehe, yg dia, itu mah
tambahan...krn Tuhan tuh selalu yg pertama amen? Hahhaa...
Overall, athough today;s kinda shitty & stuffs, but yah, juz dun remember
bad stuffs, always remember the 'fun' & everythin nice.. This will really2
help us in preservin life...

Haha.. If u guys gt nothin better to do, do come to Robinson Expo.. Hahaha.. =p
I'll be there frm 9:30 to 22:30, but the hall will open frm 10 to 10.. Hahah..
See ya...

Watched New Police Story juz now..
I tt it was another jackie Chan show that will bored me
to death.. But in the end, it's kind of nice & xciting too...
Haha... Aniwae... Love to see guys cried.. Hhaa... I dunno why..
As in... Hm.... shed tears for the people they loved.. Aww....
So touched siah...
The movie was kinda intelligent,although u might find the bus scene
is very2 exaggerated... Hhahaa....

Yah... Today's kinda hectic for me... Rushin here & there...
Aniwae.. Didnt manage to get a new phone.. haha, but thz to my bro (the bully)
yah, i know he's kinda care for me & so forth.. He helped me to walk around
City Plaza tocheck out prices & some shops hav this servicing package
of $60 to repair my hp.. Haha..
Whereas tt bloody nokia proffesional will charge at $120...
so the conclusion is.. I'm back with my true love, nokia 7650. Hahaha...

Hahaha.... Yesterday's entry was lost due to
some stupidity error by the internet conncetion i guess..
It's like.. a few times already...

Yah, summary of yesterday's stuffs:
(if i can remember correctly)
Went to sch on the 1st official day of hol.. Haha...
Went to Jurong East aft tt stupid guy at the Tampines Int
told me & mud tt it's only 1 hr journey... Haha... then it
turned out to be 2 hours! What the.. Hahhaa...

Today's entry:
Yah, another round of cleaniong up my stuffs at hm when i came
upon last yer's student handbook of mine... It was more like a
piece of Art rather than a handbook... Lotsa2 thoughts & feelings
& drawings etc.. Hahha...
Lemme write some of my entries for u:
(cos i scared if it's lost, then i hav no other way to look at it again,
well at least here i can refer to if i miss my book & it's lost.. haha)

"Guru ngaco menghasilkan kepala pusing"
(Teacher who anyhow teach will cause headache..)

Sat, 18/1/2004
"Pergi nonton bareng 'dia' & nyokapnya"
(went to movies with him & his mom) <-note: not more, nothin happen k!

Tue, 21/1/2004
"Tanda tangan Agnes de Great loh. Laen kali
kalo gw jadi terkenal pasti byk yg mau =>" --Agnes Irawan

Fri,24/01/2004
"Hepi bday kat1 moga2 lu tambah keren, bae cakep,
pinter, smuanya d... Asal ga ngelebihin gua aza. Huahaha =p GBU" --Lilie Kurniawan

Sun, 2/2/2004
"nonton They same dia & nyokapnya"

Mon, 24/02/2004
" Lupa..
Adalah kebijaksanaan yang diberikan Tuhan kepada manusia..
Lari..
Adalah anugerah terindah jika hati sedang gundah
Lihat..
Dunia ini luas dan indah di ujung sana...
Lelah...
Lepaskan segala beban dan bersandar sejenak"

14-18/04/2004
"... Dia ngaku sendiri dia suka sapa. hiks gw kecele lagi sama
cewe singapore. What makes them so special & attractive to guys?
... Gw ga bisa banyak harap deh. Pokonya kalo emang ga dapet jodoh,
gw pengen buka panti asuhan. Gw pengen org yg bisa appreciate gw
& perlu gw.
... Aneh2 aja pikiran gw. Jangan mikir banyak2 deh, nanti bisa telmi lagi.
Males, idup gw nanti bisa rese * ga indah..."

Tue, 10/06/2004
"Haha.. Gw harus survive, walaupun gw ga socially accepted.
Ga boleh nyerah. Kalo gw lari, gw bakalan jadi ga bertanggung jawab,
soalnya gw lari dr masalah. Jd, satu2nya jalan ya hadepin, berubah kalo
perlu. Minta Tuhan bantuan, soalnya org yg ada di jalan Tuhan pasti
dibimbing sendiri sama Tuhan. Jgan pake akal2an gw, pake akal2an Tuhan"

16-20/06/2004
"Apa yang kau cari?
Apa yang kau ingin?
Jika tak mau sedih,
Mengapa kau terus melaju?
Aku manusia kecil,
Tenaga tak ada, pikiran terbatas.
Kuingin hidup yang indah,
Kuingin kedamaian hati.
Melindungi diri dari mara bahaya,
Kenapa dayaku tak terlihat?
Kusimpan hatiku di atas almari,
Tak ada yang sekalipun merogoh rogoh.
Siapa yang menggoyang lemari?
Tapi mengapa dia tak menjangkau?
Kumerebah di atas lemari,
Kubertanya...,
Apa yang kau cari?
Apa yang kau ingin?
Jika tak mau sedih,
Mengapa terus melaju?"

Fri, 25/07/2004
"... Jem 10 ke Chalet Pasir Ris..."

Sat, 26/07/2004
" Gebukin Andrian pake hadiah ultahnya. nicole join chalet mlm ini.
Potong kue & foto2.. BIkin foto2 gila, maen truth or dare"

Wed, 30/07/2004
"paman mendadak meninggal. Katanya heart failure. Pada nangis kayak
orgil. Jem 10:40 p.m."

Fri, 31/07/2004
" Haiz, uncle dah dibawa ke Mt Vernon. Td dibakar. Kmaren mlm cowoq2 tidur
di luar, cuman gw sendri di kos. Sejujurnya gw ada dikit takut, cuman gw lebih ga rela
pisah sama si paman. Paman tuh sayang banget ma gw & tina. Kita udah kyk anak
perempuan tambahannya aja. Dia ga pernah nolak permintaan kita, walaupun
soal telpon gw sering diresein. Gw akan selalu inget, kl dia plg, pasti duduk di sofa,
with a cup of beer & ice, ditaroh di atas newspaper chinese yg ada label merahnya
& rokonya satu bungkus. Lg tidur sambil kaki ditaroh di meja. That image of him
will last forever in my brain... Gw kadang2 dpt flashback uncle yg waktu di sofa &
waktu dia di ranjang dah meninggal & waktu dia di peti mati. Anehnya gw ga merasa
takut. Mungkin kalo loe udah ngerti & kenal sama org yg dah meninggal itu,
U'll feel more pain than scare, dia tralu cepet perginya... "

Sat, 23/08/2004
" Aduh... Gw sebel banget buat feel this again, tapi here i am, feelin the same
old damnit feelin again. SEbel tau ga. Gw ngajak ngmg didiemin, trus langsung ngmg
ke org laen. Cape tau. Gw sebel bgt. Ga ngerasa grateful bgt ah. Rese..."

Tue, 23/09/2004
" Jika kulari,
Apakah kan kau cari?
Jika kuterlepas,
Apakah kan kautangkap?"

Sun, 26/10/2004
" HIHS in Harmony Carnival 2004
Venue: Sch <- ew.. i hate this one"

Okay... This was it... I know its kinda long, & some are in indo, well,
MOST are in Indo.. But i dun care. Hhaha/...
If u can read, then read. If not, aks me for translation
I'll translate those tt i can tell, not those i couldnt tell..
Okay guys? Haha.. Peace!

Hahha.. The job had finally over & i;m like...
100 bucks richer?
BUt it'll be finished soon.. Cos i'm gonna take my bro
(my real youngest bro) to a movie & buy him some
nice clothes, pants etc.. (if yah. if there's nice things to buy
within my capability of economy)
Hahah..

Aniwae... I love the dresser job. It's like.. although its tired
& busy at the same time, rushin to dress down & dress up again,
but its' worth it.. It's so wonderful & beautifull...
It's like.. the whole dirty works behind the scenes for a kind of
flawless fashion show.. Hahha...
I love u Ksenya, u;re my best model...
she kept on sayin xie2 to me.. wonderful personality
Luri.. Why u went off soo fast? i didnt even hav time to take a pic with u..
Yah, he's a nice model..
Gerald.. Nice guy too.. Although starts off with the 'walauweh.."
that phrase to really shock me off...
He did say thank you aft all the shows.. Haha..
Martina.. NIce model.. Cooperative..
Larissa.. NIce model too.. She's kind
Ernest.. Didnt get into contact with him much as he did everythin by himself..
Looks like he didnt even need a dresser at all...
I saw him always alone behind everyone, wonders if he's fine..
Jane, Ashely.. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeee u kidssssssssssssssss.. U'r sooo awesome,
so cute, so adorable, so sweet, sooooo lovelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Hahhaaa

I got my 2nd job yesterday..
It was as a dresser for a fashion show..
OMG, i loveeeeeeeeeeeeee it soo much...
Hahhaha.. It's like, i dun mind doin all the
work cos i really enjoy it...

Aniwae.... The models are WOW! Esp my gurl,
Ksesnya (or however u spell it..). & Gerald too..
Hahaha.. & Larissa, & Bobby (although he's kinda attitude),
& Luriiiiiii... He's super kind.. (ing2's model)..
Hahaha..

Aniwae, gonna bath before goin to church now.. I'm sorry Jason,
i cant send u off at the airport, but believe me u hav my
"bon voyage' wish... Hahaha....

Aduh.. gosip udah menyebar kemana2, salahkan daku
krn tralu mengalah... Sial2... Gw rasa gw harus mulai tone down,
ga boleh membiarkan diri terhanyut di situasi..
(Ew.. Why am I so EYD & poetic & scareeee today?)
Ck Ck... Okay then, hav to really bathe now..!
Argh....

Yay... i was packin my stuffs for
moving hse when i stumbled upon the
stuffs i wrote back in 2001..It was sooo lame,
i can't believe i wrotethat.. IT's like.. WTH!
So mushy2...Lovey dovey, psycho & buai ta han..
Okay, since I gt nothin better to do,here i typed it out for u...

ROMAN PICISAN (dated 22.10.2001)

Kalau waktu bisa kuputar kembali,
Mungkin kutakan memilih untuk melihatmu.
Melepaskan dirimu dari ketergantungan diriku,
Membebaskan dirimu dari bayang2 hitam diriku.

Daripada kulihat kesuramanmu,
Kukan pilih tuk membuang diriku.
Kukorbankan hatiku untuk menampung keluh resahmu,
Kubelenggu diriku untuk memasang topeng senang di hadapanmu.

Walau kutahu tak da harapan untuk dipilih,
Kubiar diriku dicaci maki, disiksa dan dilukai.
Kepada bunga2 pilihanmu kutanyakan sebuah pertanyaan,
"Mengapa kau biarkan dia terluka dan terbeban memikirkanmu?"
Jawab mereka menyakitkan dan tidak memuaskan,
"Tak kuharap dia memikirkanku,
tak kuminta dia mengharapkanku.."

Hanya kau yang terbeban untukmemikirkannya,
Kau telah kehilangan dirimu sejati.
Tak kutemukan arti hidup ini.
Kuhampir merusak seluruh diriku,
Tak da yang tahu, tak da yang peduli.

Kutanya padamu arti kehidupanku,
Tanpa ada maksud tuk mengharapkanmu.
Tak kau berikan jawaban,
kau bebani aku dengan bunga hatimu.

Tanpa sadar kulukai diriku dan dirimu,
Kumenangis darah saat kutahu kau melihat karibku.
Kubunuh hatiku dan menyimpan sengsara.
Senyum, wajah, perbuatanmu menggema di jiwaku.

Kucoba untuk mengakhiri derita ini
Tak kuasa rohku merelakan diriku disiksa aku.
Menitikkan air mata yang tak harus dititikkan.
Mengetahui rahasia yang seharusnya tak diketahui.
Inilah hidup seorang terkalah, terkapar, hancur dan remuk..


My gosh.. I can't believe i wrote this.
Haha..It was like.. whad, i was 14... & i wrote tt good?
HahaLame me... I was too emo i guess... So lame.. Hahha..
I think nowadays i'm kinda hardened by the fact that
true love doesnt exist, whereas mature love known as 'kasih' does exist..
WTF? Haha.. I dun even know what the hell i'm talkin..
Aniwae.. peace!

Hm... kinda hooked with blog these few days..
How come ah? aniwae.... Enjoyin myself a lot...
Tired & sleepy but cant sleep...
Hoho,,, Tmr, hopefully Robinson wants me, so i can
earn lil sum for my bros' bday presents, new stuffs for me..
& cover up my entire drying bank account.. T.T..
Hahhaa...
Tmr go skate with the HFC, aft that, go wathc movie with my
youngset bro.. T.T... Out of all.. Why NEW POLICE STORY?
BUt aniwae.. haha, anythin lah...