Haiyah...!
Life is really like a see saw....
When u're happy, someone else might be sad....
Why Lord, wh cant everyone be happpy at the same
time? although i know it's imp, but yah.... If it can
happen, it'll save lotsa ppl from havin sad days..

Today's really rain the whole day,as in drizzle..
Well, i guess it affects the mood of ppl...
Lord pls free them from the torture thay might faced..
Let them be humble and ask Your help, Your wisdom
& Your will to be done.. Your miracles to work on each of
their lives..

Bener Tuhan, gw bener2 ga mao keindahan & keajaiban ini
ilank dr idup gw.. Skrg gw lg ada at the top part of the see saw..
I dun wanna go down again.. Gw pengen selalu begini...
T.T I'm seriously damn askin for lotsa things today, Lord..
Hahhaa..Peace..

ya know, life is like a see saw (the game in the playground)..
On one time you might be very2 happy.... BUt the next second
*blam!!* & everythin feels like shit... Hav u ever feel that way?
there's no constanity to it.... Like sometimes u feel,"yeah cool.."
but aft that somethin must happpen to bring down ur morale..
Sebel bgt.. maybe i shuldn't care too much.. maybe i should juz
shutup.. But my brain cant stop thinkin, it has a will of its own,
it controls me, controls my feelings, controls my emotions...
Makes me visualise negative stuffs.. make me think lotsa stuffs i
wouldnt even care to think of....
Is this craziness? Should i go & admit myself in woodbridge?
Ah...... Ga tau ah.... jiwa ini tlah terganggu.. Hahhaa..
GIla, gw jd psycho... I'm scared of myself...
T.T

God pls help me to shut my mouth!!!!!
Argh..!

Berhenti Berharap... Dia ga perlu gw...
Aduh.. Kok gw jd uring2an sendiri?
Diem diem diem!!!!!!!!
My gosh...

Okay... gw ngerti kalo gw not supposed to feel this..
Jealousy raged over me, it gets the better side of me...
Sebenernya buat apa gw jealous? Kalo kita jg ga tau
apa yg ada di pikirannya... Gw harus stop, gw rasa gw harus
stop dengan pikiran gw yg mikirnya gt...
Dia cuek abis... tiap kali apa2 juga rahasia... Gw jd bete..
Apa gw tralu pengen tau? Apa itu sifat jelek gw yg harus gw
ubah?

Ga tau ah... The thought of ngeliat dia bareng cewe laen
bener2 bikin gw rada bete.. Apalagi gw punya barang juga lg ga bener...
Sebbel aja.. Rasanya, "oh. gitu yah.. yah udah terserah elo.."
Tp dia bukan cowo gw, masya allah, dia bukan COWO GW!
Knp gw musti ngerasa cemburu, sebel... Apa gw gara2 suka jd buta
sebelah, ..?

Bua apa coba? lagian emang cewe itu lebih bs drpd gw,
udah pasti dia minta tolong ama dia... mana ada org tenggelem
megang alang2? (ga ngerti? baca Yasha)...
Aduh... koq gw ngelantur gini...? Shuddup, juz shuddup Kath!
Shut the hell out of your head! Dun even think of it!!!!
Shuddup!!!!!!!!

Sorry guys, these things i wrote are kind of strictly confidential ...
I cant write it inEnglish cos later gossips fly over everywhere &
makes thw matter worse..

Now is 2:32 a.m.
Went to Joel's hse did the MFund..
It was cool yah.. Surviving in his non-aircon
room.. Hahaha...
Aniwae, praise Him for He is good... At last my
MMFund finished yah.. Thx God! Lov U..

Yah... Gw ga tau apa gw merasa seneng ato apa,
karena gw ngerasa gw org tambah dkt & dkt...
Tp apa perasaan ini cuman tmn doank, ato gmn gt..
Yah.. cuek lah. Pokonya, kalo emang Tuhan brings me
to it, He will show the way.. Tapi kalo nggak, buat apa
gw maksa, nantinya bukan cuman gw yg luka, tp dia juga..
Buset dia udah ngalamin 1x, apa gw mao bikin yg kedua kalinya
kalo ternyata hubungan ga berjalan mulus?

Aniwae.. It's good when u understand lotsa2 languages..
U can mix around with them, combine them into forming ur
own sentences.. & If u read lotsa stuffs... you may be able to
conceal some stuffs beneath your sentences.. Yah, kind of like
Shakespeare.. or any other ppl who wrote lit stuffs... I really2
feel tt they're best siah... They used some stuffs that can
conceal some big stuffs behind those words.. Like, if you're
game enough, u gonna find it out....

Yah, from my past experiences.. Haha, ppl told me tt i'm good
at this, so guys... If u're game enough, u'll understand every
stuffs that i wrote here... As in, u know what stuffs i'm thinkin
all the while, u understand my journey of life... BUt if not,..
I dunno..Haha.. Good luck. Hahhahaa
See ya.. Peace yo!~

Now is... 1:22 a.m. Ow, it's a very2 early day..
Hahaha... Doin my mmfund now, but takin a rest for a while,
rest assure i'm gonna Zzz today.
Tmr's stuffs:
* go dentists @ 2
* go sch & teach ZiQian & ZhiWei & Ing2 a while
* go filming
* go do mmfnd again @Joel's hse

Message for today: (it's in indo guys, i'm sorry..)
"Hentikan kege-eran di dalam jiwa raga inti hati ini yg membakar... <-Practisin my jayuism"
Blom tentu emang gitu walaupun keliatannya gitu...
Emang kita boleh berharap2 bakalan jadinya gitu
Tapi apa daya kalo emang nggak dibukakan jalan sma Tuhan..
Amen?

Okay... Now is 4:03 a.m.
& I'm damn tired..... & now i'm waitin for the damn
TP logo... Okay, I FORGOT that every monday frm
3-5 a.m. they'll be doin some changes thus can't log in
or somethin like tt.. U mean i hav to WAIT? Until 5?
Wanna kill me instead? Hahhaa..
Okay... Be patience...
Amen God?

Had ushering job for today.. (!st service, as always)
with Susan, Olive & Ingrid. Okay, the sandals are really
killin me, sending bubbles to my feet T.T

Went to eat BK & thento Susan's house to take refuge =p
& did my Ronald's final projects stuffs... Did half way when Ing2
called me to her hse & did the rest until 8 30 while helpin her stuffs
too, helping Cing2 too while gulpin on their food.. Hahhaa...
Ate cornet & Indomie Mie Goreng as my dinner... It was nice!
(since Cing2 cooked for me =p)

Smsin to Lynette, Wei Shan & Mud along the way..
Aniwae.... Cover page haven do.. pls pray for me..Hahha
Today's preachin is on hope... NO man can ever live a life without hope.. Haha..
Ciao

Currently: Sittin infront of the comp
Typin, chattin to Max
(before tt to Evelyn & Airin my sayank)
Writin this blog
Thinkin abt my youth service tt i'm gonna miss today
Thinkin abt the drfund
Thinkin abt the cover for dr fund
Thinkin abt Mmfund
Thinkin abt my video
Thinkin abt how to deal with my 'demonic side'
Thinkin abt the Yamakasi VCD tt i'm gonna watch later at night
Thinkin abt my cousin's stuffs
Thinkin abt livin in the new Seletar Hill
Thinkin abt leaving all the memories behind in Sirat Place T.T
Thinkin abt my momma
Thinkin abt my relatives in Indo & everywhere...
Thinkin abt my frens in Indo (Airin, Agnes, Eph, Andry etc)
Thinkin abt my frens in Oz (Riana my cuz)
Thinkin abt my frens in Canada (Jiiiiii.. Gw kangen ma elo T.T)

I guess i think too much.. *Thats it* hahaha
Peace!

Hahaha, did the 1st 15 sec of my bavid today.. Went to
Chris' place with Hui Shan... Haha, then ate Shrom meal KFC..
What a lame ass food is tt.. I know it's abt $3.95 but it's really juz a
chick burger with mashed potato sauce & mushroom.. What the heck?
Hahha....

Aniwae.... Enjoyin my stressful day today... Walah, lookin at other's mfund
projects, really feel like killin myself siah... GIla, they did everythin fine, soo
fine..... T.T...
GHahaha, okay lah. Peace yo!

Wow..Today was totally AWESOME!!!
This morning (well, okay, up til 7), i was damn
********* up... but yah, aft that,
God really showed me that He's there...

Yah, basically, i did some greatest stuffs, it'll
(by the grace of God) will continue..Hahha..
[building a career rite now] I really love u guys...
Thanks a lotttttttt......

I dunno, today's depression came out of nowhere, it was
suddenly *Pyanggg* then i'm like *Doooh*...
BUt now it was *Hyaaaaaaaaa* which means energy fueled up..
Hohooh... Doin DR Fund now.. Love u Mr Ronald, my ou xiang..!
I wanna be like u (as in the skill, not appearance)
Khihihi.....

"I'm gonna be a history maker in this world
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into Your arms.. Into Your arms again... "

~History Maker~

Okay..... Now i'm in my Mfund room...
'enjoying' the tortured feelin of never-ending mfund..

am i disturbing u or whad? Am i just an xtra or whad?
hahhaa... nthin.... Im juz crappin now..
forgive me....
(need to release my stress)
Ciao...

Hahaha... Mud's bday today...
Me, Mud, GQ, WeiShan, Joel, Nguyen,
Cream, Shi Hui, Victoria & the friend went to Peninsula Plaza
to get Mud the guitar.. Haha, guess he was sooo touched...
(Can see the gleaming eyes.. Awwwww)
Then we went to Bugis, ate & the 1st 6 ppl went to
Esplanade.. hahhaa...
walah... today's full of action & fun stuffs..Khihihihi...

Okay, beralih ke masalah hatiku...
Gw ngerasa dia masih suka ma xnya... As in, mungkin jg dia ga
mao ada org baru.. Haha.. Rubbish.. I am very rubbishin now..
Kliatan kali yah kl dia dah mulai menjaga jarak...
KOq gw jd puitis gini?
Udah ah.. gw mlm jd error.. Forget it..
Wan an...

Hm.... Okay....
now i gt mixed feelin... Gw ga tau gmn cara ngejelasinnya
& gw ga bakal ngejelasin karena gw ga mao 'dia' tau..
Tp one thing for sure, gw semakin ngerasa makin lama makin tolol
& bego,... Hahhaa...
I shouldn't think too far, seriously, i'd drowned too deep into this..
Begonya diriku... kalo boleh, gw ga mao lose this moments,
soalnya tralu enak & comfortable, gw ga mao jadi somethin yg
beda lagi, karena yah... gitu lah....
Emang bener, mending jd temen, tapi yah, God help me to
control myself pls.. hikz...
Aduh, why am i keep talkin abt dia? Rese2.. hahaha...
Ciao guys..
(sorry, no english version, too dangerous.. Hihihi)

Yah rite...
Everything's my fault...
I cos soo much harm to ppl..
Hav to kill myself i guess..
T.T

Sialllllllllllll!!
Okay, i'm in my worst mood now..
Can i kill somebody?
OMG, the project really2 killed me,
gettin on my nervess.....
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stupid comp
Stupid human
Stupid time
Stupid lect
StupidStupidStupid..
& i feel like killin ppl...
(i'm sorry guys, i need leash out my anger..)
T.T

I think I'v cultivate this lamo habit
of waking up early in the morning, haha..
(jokko, see lah, gw skrg jd ikut2an loe)

Well aniwae, today's plan:
*do mfund intro
*do stote visual
*do ronald's stuffs
*accompany bro to shop (khihihi)
*renew popular card (?)
*Go youth
*Terrorise SEan, Alden, Ashraf & Alex
for Stote reflection (i am bad, yah!)
*send Alden the stote for printing

Ow, btw, last nite's cell group's sharing(by Michelle)
was about prioritising.We hav to prioritised our time
within 24 hoursto do what we need to d the most.
Hm, and basically, yah, we need to serve the Lord
(by involving ourselves in the ministries) but know
thepriority for studying in Sg (esp foreign studs).
Prioritise ur study for the glory of Lord, do
cut ur serving time (but not ur quiet time) if u really2
feel that ur studies are kind of affected.. Haha..
Hahah, talking about this stuffs, suddenly i remember
Lina (Charlina Gozali)...T.T..
I miss her singingggggggggggggggggg.. Linnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Ah nvm, i think i'm gettin crazy day by day...Hahaha..
(Talking about thing that doesn't connected to stuffs above..)
"What are the meaning of those words~" Hm... Ga ngerti..

Hahahhaa.... Can't believe it..
Today's AuEss lesson was actually turned byLinus & Pris
into some kind of praise & worship stuffs.Hahhaa... Cool2...
I mean, not th whole room, we'llget sued if we did that,
but at the next room where they hav thiskeyboard for Pris to play.
Yeah, God rocks the house, man!
We sang lotsa song, & suddenly,"light of the world, u step downinto darkness.."
Hahaha...It was the "here I am to Worship" song..
Aniwae, while singinthe song, i got this feelin that i'm gonna
ask Teguh to playthe chord for tonite's praise & worship..
But i forgot... Hahha..

Aniwae, while we're worshipin (aft me & Olip were late,
cos of hunting for Susan's bday stuffs in Orchard.. Hhaha),
Teguh suddenlyplayed the chord for that song..
Wow man, i tell u, hahaha...U really2 can feel the POWER!
Aniwae, Stote2! Hav to do my stuffs yah...

MOnday : Stote (Project 2)
DrFun (show Ron sketches of comic book)
Bavid (shooting, i guess....)

Tuesday: *Off day*
Gonna teach Ing2 & ZiQian stuffs about Mfund..
Aft that, gonna go to Peninsula Plaza with da gank

Friday : AuEss (submission of project)

Monday : DrFun (submission of comic book)

Wed : Mfund (Submission for webbie)
<- gonna do what i'v promised to Je
Hahhahaa...!(in my ever-kerazee mood now)...
Jilly, gw bener2 kangen loe deh,
bykkk bgt yg mao gw ngobrolin bareng loe..Hahaa...

Hahaha! Stayed out until quite as a revenge for
my 'pingitan' days at home for 2 days....
Went with the twins to TI & bought 'erhem'
frm This Fashion.. Hahhaa... Okay, i'm gonna wear
it as a promise to Jess at the last day of project submission..
Yah, i guess it will be on the next next week, the friday.. hihiihi..
Went to BK today with Mud & Jacky, doin Ronald's stuffs until 10 30...
Haha, did my Mfund stuffs, but it turns out much more weirder
& weirder than i expect... Yuck!!! Haha, Ko, how come u forget
how to do pop up stuffs?
Hm.. tchomorrow will be a super hectic day for me....
I got to go to Orchard buy Susan's present.... Then to Pukat,
then do hw.... Sat i hav to do my stuffs again, go youth, oh.. bring my
bro buy his stuffs... Hahhaa... yah... Hectic...
Somebody save my soul!!!!!
BUt aniwae, with God, i think i can make it siah....!
U rock, God! U'll always rockzzzz!!!

Hm... can't believe it...
This is the 2nd day of this month that i didn't
bother to step out f my hse.. Hahaha...
Well, even though i feel like comin to sch,
tapi gw tau kalo gw ke skolah, gw pasti bakalan hooked
up sampe malem bgt, yah.. abt 8-9, jd sampe rumah
abt 9-10 deh.. Hahaha...

Okay, finished my vislit... Doin my mfund...
Finished : Intro, index
Under construction: Banner
Gonna touch: abt me 1&2, pix, work piece, mystuffs, link

will it be more than 1 mb? Haha, dun care lah.
Ko, harap maklumi lah yah...

Buat yg ngerti, diem2 aja. Hehe, gonna write somethin
personal di sini...
'dia' kmaren bikin gw bener2 kecewa.. Mungkin emang gw kurang
ngerti dirinya ato apa deh, tp, dia pokonya bikin somethin
yg bener2 bikin gw ngerasa pengen ngmg ke dia,
"Cuman sebegitukah harga diri loe?" SEbel bgt sih... Hahaha...
I mean, sbg manusia, kita segimanapun mepetnya, tetep aja kan
yg namanya harga diri ituh harus ada... Haih... Ga tau ah.. cuek bebek wek wek.. Haha
Sorry guys, i dun feel like writin in English today.. hahah...

Hahaha... I'm damn pissed today... haihaihaihai...
Lazy to talk abt it, but well, it's really2 my fault..
I'm soo sorryyyy...
But aniwae, i'll make up to it, anyway that i can...

Hohoho... Damn, i think something's wrong with my
blog.. Hikz.. aniwae, if this entry can't appeared on the
blog, i will never bother to update again lol.. Hahahhaa..

Yesterday, havin a real good chat with Rin (Riana)..
Yah, i admit that i dun really know 'dia'. As in, i know
'dia' in the outside, but what abt the inside? Is 'dia' what
i thought 'dia' is? Or am i recreating a 'dia''s personality
in my brain?
why do i like 'dia'? Am i stereotyping 'dia' judging from
'dia''s kindness, etc.... Seriously, Rin made me really thinks
abt thinking, abt my mindset on how i judge whether i like
'dia' r not & stuffs....
Heck care abt guys now, now it's the war, real big war against
Projects & deadline!@!!!!!!!

Sorry Lord, i can't wake up this morning, i missed today's service...
Hikz..

Saatku melewati lembah kekelaman
Badai hidup menerpaku
Mataku memandangMu, yang jaga jiwaku
Kudapatkan pengharapan

PadaMu, Yesusku, kusujud dan berseru
Mengangkat tangan berserah pada
MuNyatakan kehendakMu, bukanlah kehendakku
Kutahu Kau slalu sertaku, tak pernah tinggalkanku

ENGLISH TRANSLATION:
As I enter the valley of darkness,
Blows of problems came over me
My eyes were fixed on You, who guarded my soul
(in You) I gain my hopes
To You, my Jesus, I bowed down and shouted
Liftin up my hands, surrender all to You
Let Your will be done, & not mine be done
I know You're always here with me, never leaving me alone

Argh......... Felix (ben)Cheong asked me to rework on my dumbass story tellin stuffs!!!
How am I gonna fnish everythin? Argh.............................
Aniwae, a quick brief on my life...
*gonna miss Marg-Elise's farewell tmr... Du shu lah siah...
*gonna kill myself the whole day doin stuffs for submission...
*Gonna pray pray pray~!!!!!!
*gonna hav to controoooooooooooooooooooooollll myself more
*gonna stop all my nonsense... I think i'm gonna repeat my whole same mistakes again..
*gonna hav to divide my time well.... If not, how to live siah?
*gonna hav to stop gulping on fries & mcD & it's rubbish

In church office now, doin my research, talking to GQ,
Hahaha... Really2 feel the presence of 'deadlines'...
Argh...!
Aniwae, should i or shouldn't i? I was thinkin, what if? But
what if not? Nvm, dun bother to ask me what is that, cos
it shouldn't be known aniwae.. Hahha, only my few gurls
knew it but hey.. shld stop my nonsense abt it now!!
HAHAHAHAHAA.....
Had been a long time ever since i wrote somethin on my
blog but really, i really2 hav to divide my time well, do my
stuffs, seek my God, spend time with my bros, going home..
Hahaha.... Hav to spend my christmas in sg this yer,
what the hell siah? Aniwae, heck care...
I should just heck care abt all the stuufs in myhead, stop thinking
abt stuffs & do my job well..

Oh ya, i realised that there's lots of new songs in the youth..
One really2 gt this 'wow' impact on me...
but forgot its lyric.. some other time i write that don okay? i
promise.. hohoho...
Ciao ya!